My Mother Is My Idol

My Mother Is My Idol

She doesn't wear a cape, but she's still my hero.
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My mother is my biggest fan. I know she always has been, and that she always will be. She is by my side when I need her, and she can cheer me up in a second. She can also make me so angry that I refuse to talk to her. We can be like sisters or the world's biggest enemies. There is rarely an in between. If I have a hard time I know my mother will be there. No matter what the distance is, she will show up and help me however she can.

My mother is a Saint. Not many people know it, though. She will give all of herself to help someone else. It could kill her, but she would still care about the other persons well being. She spends so much time making sure others are okay when she should really be taking care of herself. I have always hoped that I would be like her. I want to make people smile like she does. I want to make as big of a difference as she has.

We fight like crazy. We are both too stubborn to let our pride be crushed. We have this tendency to throw the worst things into each other's faces. The insults will get worse and worse until one of us retreats. We can go days without talking to each other after a fight. That's one thing about her. She will love me with all of her heart, even when we're tearing each other apart. It doesn't happen often, but when it does I know we'll make it through it.

We aren't the mother and daughter pair that braids each other's hair and dresses the same. We don't spend every two seconds together. We don't cook together, clean together, or go shopping together. I am not my mother's perfect little daughter. I've been more of a pain for her than I can even imagine. Yet, here she is, by my side when I need her. I try to be here for her too because I know she is my best friend. We can go to dinner, not talk at all, but still have the best time.

She has been with my Dad for twenty five years. She loves him with all of her heart. She can fight with him as well, but in the end it will always be him. They are together, and they are happy. She showed me what real love was, and she showed me that settling is not for me. She told me to wait for someone who was worth it. I waited, and I found my person.

She is always right. Some call it a mother's intuition, but I call it a lucky guess. Despite the fact that I hate admitting I am wrong, I have to do it a lot with her. We like to look back on my past and talk about all the times she was right. Now that I no longer live with her I can accept all the times she was right. I don't have to like it, but I can accept it.

My mother is my super hero. She can tell when I need her, even when I won't admit it. She can tell when I need help, even if it isn't from her. I know she will always love me as much as she can. I know I will always look to her for help. She is always going to be there for me, and I hope that one day I can be a mom like her.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Chamberlain

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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Even When You Don't Have It In You

For the struggling college student at the start of a new semester.

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The above picture represents a stage in my life that I thought I would never get through. I had just finished final exams and was terrified of the outcome of my last semester as a Junior. I had experienced so many mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks from a series of events and low places that I found myself in throughout the semester, so much that my mom had to stay with me during final exams. I needed encouragement, and I needed it bad.

Kind of like right now, and I'm sure that some of you might find yourself in the same place.

While the start of a new semester looks shiny and promising, there is always that point when reality begins to settle in, and you realize that responsibilities are resurfacing just as fast as they left at the onset of Christmas break.

You show up to the first day of classes, all of your professors throw a syllabus at you, as well as your final exam date, and you begin to feel your forehead break out in sweat. We've all been there, and that is precisely the place that I found myself at while sitting in my first ever 8 AM of my college career.

Not only do we attend classes, but nightly meetings as well, all while attempting to retain a social life and keep up with our mental health.

It's A LOT. I know it. I've been there.

There have been days when I wanted to simply throw in the towel, and quit school altogether.

I have been at the point when I couldn't find even a sliver of motivation to get me through the meetings, the extra credit seminars, work, or even to church.

The feeling of defeat is nothing new to me, but what I have learned is something that will forever be a constant even though my motivation level is not always.

The Lord doesn't love you because you do everything right, or you attend every meeting and aren't a second late... The Lord loves you because of you are His, and that will never change.

See, regardless of our level of perfection in a certain class or at a meeting, he is always constant, always.

Regardless of our inability to give ourselves creditor to take time to breathe, his loves you fully, with no prerequisites.

That is what had gotten me through the majority of my sleepless night when a responsibility or test kept me awake at night with anxious thoughts.

Regardless of our performance, or how good we look to the people of this Earth, our worth is found in God, and we must not let performance or standards of society fog up our sight of that.

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