Getting dumped is never fun. Real talk. After investing all your precious time and self-worth into a person, your life starts to feel like a sappy Adele song way too much. And nobody likes the tears those invoke. Luckily there are tons of fish in the sea, and Adele did get it right when she said, "I'll find someone like you." But until then, here are some basic stages of what to expect when you're not expecting it.
1. Disbelief
It will take a solid day or two for it to actually sink in that you're a newly single lady. You'll go about your daily routine in the same old blissful state, but with just a slight feeling that something is off. And when it does sink in, it's weird. No good morning text to wake up to, no one to cuddle with, no one to live text your awkward work experience, no one to fight over what take-out you will order, no one to endlessly poke fun at, and (the worst) no goodnight text. That "Is this real life?" feeling will slap you hard in the face.
2. And then comes...
The tears. Lots and lots of tears. Now you know exactly how Elle Woods felt when Warner dumped her, mascara running down your face and all.
3. The Never-Ending Nostalgia
All those sweet, sappy times will start to creep back into your mind. From when you first started dating to when they told you, "I love you." Grab your tissue box because this stage will only invoke more tears. All those precious moments will start to convince you that they're wrong or they just made a mistake, but you should probably just take a chill pill and sleep the memories off. "Nostalgia is a seductive liar."
4. "What did I do Wrong?"
Even though they probably pulled the "It's not you, it's me card," you will still think there had to be something you did. You will tell yourself over and over again that you weren't good enough or not worth it, but in reality they're probably just a jerk, and it is just them.
5. Getting Over Them by Getting Under Someone Else
Do not get this confused with moving on. It is still far from over. While it might help in the moment, you will most likely feel pretty regretful afterwards.
6. More Tears
Just embrace it, and cry it out at this point. You might be scrolling through your newsfeed and see something that reminds you of them, stumble upon their Snapchat story (because you definitely weren't looking for it), or run into them on the street. Those mini packs of tissues are an awesome investment.
7. Hatred
You will start to loathe them and everything they do, did, want to be, and what made them them. Everything that reminds you of them will carry a dirty, nasty stigma. You'll pretty much start to hate the opposite sex at this point in time.
8. The Urge to Text/Call
Whether you want to ask them why they dumped you, say a nasty word or two, or just see what they're up to, don't do it. Don't ever do it. Especially after a grown up beverage or two. Put the phone down.
9. Moving On
When you finally reach that point where you're not checking their newsfeed five times a week, looking to see if they posted a Snapchat, or having that urge to text/call them, you just might have finally, successfully moved on! Snaps to you! It might have only taken a few hundred tissues and Maroon 5 songs, but you did it! While they will always hold a tiny (maybe really tiny) spot in your heart, now there is more room for you to love yourself and let someone new in.
