Mindless scrolling on Facebook was the inspiration for this article. It's funny how when it's time to step into the next chapter of our lives, we take to heart the advice we heard years ago. At high school graduation (feels like years ago, right?), we promised that we would learn from our mistakes. In fact, we promised to stop caring about what others thought of us and we swore to always follow our hearts, but then the real world greeted us and it suddenly got a lot harder to keep our word. It made us forget what we were fighting for and we suddenly felt a whirlwind of emotions. What do passion, self-consciousness, and pain all have in common? They all allow us to design a life we love.
On Facebook, I came across a bunch of graduation speeches on my timeline and I didn’t think much of it. Usually, I never clicked on them, not because I didn't think that the advice wouldn't help me, but because I was in denial as to how fast time was flying. In the blink of an eye, two years of college were behind me. To me, graduation was for future me to be excited about, not now, though. I didn’t want to leave these years just yet (even if it was for only 10 minutes). I was content with where I was physically and mentally. I liked the journey I was on and I didn’t want to think of how that would all change after graduation. I figured the speeches would be about following your passion and never giving up – all advice to keep in mind, but advice that seemed to keep finding its way back in myriad videos and articles. That was the difference though.
I had come across a graduation speech that was different. It was honest. It wasn’t sugarcoated with the real world welcoming you with open arms; it was the truth of what to expect as you take your first step. Not bad things, just openly honest things.
“I didn’t chase my passion, but I became passionate about what I chased.”
It was reassuring to know that passion isn’t just discovered in one place. Passion is like confidence – it shines through those who have it and once you have it, no one can take that away from you. He mentioned how it was important to always strive for more in and out of your career. People teach us more than we expect; the right people show us how to care and how to love.
“Don’t live your life passively and don’t waste any time being timid.”
Explore with zeal; explore with hungry eyes. There are days that make us feel empty and we can’t even explain why. We feel the whole weight of our mistakes on our shoulders and we can’t seem to shake it off. For some reason, these days get the best of us. There isn’t a real reason to be upset, but for some reason we are. That’s when we forget that nothing else matters as long as our hearts are happy. People usually only display the good days on social media. We’re caught up in the moment of likes and comments. He reiterates how no one knows what he or she is really doing.
“Everyone is fronting.”
Social media has the power to make us feel inadequate with what we’re doing. It's the power to prove to others that we are having a good time, but at the end of the day, is that really worth it? I’m guilty of it. Our whole generation is. It makes us feel connected unknowingly to everyone. We don’t have to do much and yet we feel strangely united. Maybe people are really having a good time or maybe they aren't, but that's up to them. Let people enjoy their lives and know that there is so much more to a picture than the caption and the filter. Your life is just as entertaining as others because it’s made for you. You get to design your perfect day every day, and to me, that's more powerful than any app.
Finally, an important takeaway from this speech was his emphasis on love. He stated that, “love, as uncomfortable and as cheesy as it is, dictates our lives.” It has more power than we think. Love is everywhere.
The important notes:
- Love yourself. The journey to loving yourself comes with joy and pain. There are days you feel lonely even when surrounded by a sea of people. Feeling lonely isn’t the end of the world; it’s normal. We all go through it, but how we handle it is what controls our journey.
- Another person doesn’t define you. You are your own worth and only then is it possible to find someone who pushes you to become even greater.
- Love honestly. Understand the palette of emotions. Feelings give our lives texture, especially the sad ones.
- Be honest with yourself. Know what you want and don’t blame yourself for wanting it. If you want time for yourself, take it. If you want to share time with someone else, do it. “Take your time, but don’t waste your time. There’s a difference”
- Life’s challenge. Learn to forgive others and yourself. People will wrong you, but that’s a learning experience. Appreciate everything; expect nothing.
- The most important of them all: love your family. The 20s are when you start to truly connect with everyone who has guided you from the beginning. You’re at the age when your parents probably met. The age where they were just as confused as you were. The age where you are now able to empathize with them. Now, you can ask them questions of their past and present and they can answer you honestly. You're old enough to hear the good and the bad. In fact, you are now entering the years that defined part of who they are. They didn’t know where life would take them and they turned out to be the very best people. To your parents, your siblings, your aunts, your uncles, your grandparents, and your cousins: “Try not to be annoyed, tell them thank you, and never forget to say I love you.” They are the symbol of endless love.
It’s natural to feel self-conscious and confused. It’s normal to believe that pictures define what everyone is really doing. It’s possible to feel confident and scared at the same time.
Here's the thing, though; you hear this all the time: the 20s are some of your best years.
Even without the sugarcoating, I still don’t doubt that.
