How do you deal with your friends when they are annoying you?
Dear Fed Up But Not Full,
If it's a meaningful friendship that you want to keep, there is nothing to do but work out your differences, or learn to accept those little things that may annoy you. I mean, don't let an emotionally or physically taxing friendship wear you down—it is okay to let go of some friends and let them be acquaintances/strangers. But, if the things that are annoying you are small, and you want your friendship to last, there is hope. The hardest part is to not let things snowball. A lot of times, people will get annoyed at one thing that someone does, and then every single little thing that person does after that is also annoying.
"Like OMG they breathed. So annoying."
"Look at the way she ate her food. She opened her mouth. Who does that. Ew. So annoying."
"She always gives her input about things. So annoying." (Those are called opinions people.)
"She's always talking about food. So. Annoying."
"Look at her hair. So annoying."
"Can you believe that she just asked a question? In class?? So annoying."
"Look at how many hashtags she uses on her Instagram. #stahhhhp #icanteven"
Basically, don't let that snowball effect happen if you ever want to have a lasting friendship. It would turn into the somewhat exaggerated situation you just read above, and you would most likely never enjoy hanging out with your "annoying friend" anymore. You're going to have to talk about the problems that are going on in your friendship or they will build up into even bigger PROBLEMS. "Honesty is the best policy." An uncomfortable conversation now could spare you a terrible fall out in the future.
Ways to get friends out of the "annoying-friend-zone.":
1. Think about why you're friends.
Let the pros of your friendship and that person come back to your mind.
How did y'all meet?
What is your favorite memory with them?
What is the one thing you know you can go to them for?
2. Read some old conversations that y'all had over text and reminisce about all of those funny conversations y'all had, or all of those stories that y'all told each other.
It's always fun to read old conversations that were funny or about something that you were able to get over with the help of your friend.
3. What do you appreciate about them?
What is your definition of a friend? Do they fit your description of one?
Friends talk. So you should do that.
What happened that made them annoying? Can you confront them about it?
5. Are they annoying because they think you're annoying?
Sometimes everyone is in a stressful situation, and it's hard to see outside of one's own problems. Let them know if they're being "unreasonable" or just not seeing something clearly, because it's possibly costing them a friendship that y'all both want to keep.
6. Cut off all communication. Never talk to them again. That chapter in your life is over. #0to100
This might happen, but it's probably rare unless you were in a toxic friendship.
Best of luck to you.