As I was working out today, watching my token episode of One Tree Hill, I realized how applicable the particular episode was to my life. The hour-long show focused entirely on what comes next. What comes next for Brooke and her company, or Nathan and his career? What comes next for Clay and Quinn after a traumatic experience, or Mouth McFadden who's down on his luck when it comes to a job. So, it got me thinking; what does come next?

On May 6th I wrapped up a huge chapter in my life - my college career. Four years of finding myself, my closest friends, my strengths and my weaknesses, as well as exploration of a city so vast and a degree to show for it, closed only to begin a new chapter. But what will this new chapter entail?

In the months that preceded graduation I began sending out my resumes to companies in Philadelphia and New York, which led to a reply from a dream company saying they were interested in me. Wait, me? Yes. Now, it was an entry level position, so it wasn't my dream job, but it was a company I thought I would never even hear from, let alone hearing that they're interested in me.

I had a family vacation lined up a few days following graduation; something I let this company know, so she told me to check in as soon as I got back and they would "get the ball rolling for me". Pretty much sounds like a done deal #amiright ? Literally the second I get home from vacation I email the girl I had been in contact with, basically telling her I was ready to start working the second she needed me. A few days go by and I hadn't heard from her so naturally I sent in another email like "hey what's up hello" (oh and btw hire me please). What she responds with is the furthest thing from what I actually wanted to hear: "They went with another candidate for this position."

What? A week ago we were "getting the ball rolling", I just assumed it'd be rolling in a different direction- you know, like forward. So that leads me to the question -- what's next?

For a few days I was completely miserable. I had told everyone I had a possible job lined up at this amazing company, and here I am completely unemployed. The only two people I even told about the situation were my boyfriend and my best friend, because I was so afraid that I would be letting down my family or friends or anyone else I told about this opportunity.

I kept telling myself maybe it just wasn't meant to be, or it's just not what God intended, but at the same time there seemed to be no other opportunities falling into place.

After a few days of sulking and wondering what I was supposed to be doing with my life, I realized that what comes next is entirely up to me. I sent my resume out to just about every open position that I was potentially qualified for, for about a week straight.

While sitting back and waiting to hear from employers isn't exactly my answer to what comes next, it's a step in the direction I need to be going in. I did realize that for now, maybe some relaxation is what I need. For four years I worked hard -- maintained good grades, had multiple internships and managed to make time for myself and my friends.

Those four years didn't come without struggle, though. There were mental breakdowns, stress overloads, and countless anxiety attacks. So until I find out what does come next, I think this time off may be the perfect first step.