Sometimes things just don't work out. As human beings, we invest a lot in each other, we get attached, we fall in love. It's what we do best. Unfortunately, reality and life's hardships can sever these investments, break this attachments and tear people who love each other apart. This is a fact. But we must not get caught up in the things we can't control, and instead focus on what we can.

I used to think that finding closure meant finally knowing all of the answers. I thought it meant understanding, in detail, why I wasn't enough anymore, or what I could have done to ruin something that seemed so solid and unwavering. In the past, I've fought to fix something that maybe shouldn't have been "fixed" at all. I believed in love and I believed in my ability to keep it alive.

The thing about love is it's either there or it isn't. Sure, I know that I can love hard and never doubt how I feel, but I can't expect that from someone else. I've learned that we all have different ways of loving one another, and different capacities to love. It dawned on me that someone's feelings can change, even if I didn't do anything in particular to cause it. It dawned on me that love can fade. I was craving something that was no longer there.

Being heartbroken sucks. But it really is temporary. I know now that finding closure has nothing to do with getting the answers from others and everything to do with finding acceptance in yourself. I looked at the facts and had to force myself to accept the things I cannot change.

I decided to focus on what I can change. I can choose to forgive. I can choose to not beat myself up about situations that I could have handled better. I can choose to move on and to focus on myself. I can choose to open my heart up again because it's the only way I know how to live and how to love. I can choose to take what I've learned and use it to help me be a better me.

I think closure is inner peace. It's loving yourself enough to know that if things couldn't work out now, they will soon enough because you deserve to find what you're looking for and to be loved in the way that you've loved someone else. It's knowing that someone who once took up your whole heart now only occupies a small fraction of it that will now be a thing of the past. It's knowing that you can't give up.

The next time you're feeling lost and like nothing is making sense, try looking to yourself first. You'll be surprised to find that sometimes you are all you need.