Beyond the brochures and college fairs, the truth of life as a college student goes much further than the statistics and pretty pictures of campuses on pages and PowerPoints. When the incessant emails finally cease — although I’m not sure if they ever actually do ... I still receive one every so often —, the days of SAT prep courses and Common Application essay revisions come to an end, and you suddenly find yourself living with complete strangers, you're likely left with little more expectations for the next four years than your first semester schedule. In fact, you're lucky if you even know that. While the college process is informative in terms of the bare-bone college knowledge, it often neglects to explain the heart and soul of the collegiate experience. Primarily in regards to those who choose to go away for school, the transition is often drastic. Now having nearly two months of life in a college dorm under my belt and that transition quite fresh in my memory, I feel as though I may be able to shed some light on the realities of the collegiate lifestyle. Here are eight pieces of wisdom that I wish I had known prior to move-in day.
1. You don’t need to be best friends with your roommate.
Perhaps the most common apprehension amongst incoming college freshmen is the daunting concept of roommates. Whether you think you know your anticipated roommate or not, you never really know somebody until you live with them. The typical horror stories shared from older siblings and friends are spread around until everyone is horrified enough to consider staying home. However, there are also the venerated stories of life-long roommate friendships that create unrealistically high expectations. The phrase “roomie goals” has allowed for the widespread misconception that your roommate must be your best friend. In reality, all that’s necessary is a healthy and respectful relationship. Acceptance of each other's boundaries and mature handling of conflicts is all that is really key to successful rooming. Friendship’s just a bonus.
2. Don’t expect your grades to be as high as they were in high school.
College is obviously meant to be more challenging than high school, so it’s only natural that the work may not come as easily to you. A greater difficulty of work means a greater need for effort. As a result, it’s important to realize that a few first poor grades are not the end of the world. Rather than accept defeat, take them as a motivation to work and study even harder next time.
3. There’s no shame in homesickness.
Change in any sense is often marred by the romanticization of the past. This is evident in the boasts of people’s hometowns throughout many first conversations in college. Whether or not we like to admit it, we all long for our favorite meals from home and a hug from our moms at one point or another. There’s no denying how hard it is to say goodbye to practically all you've known your entire life. Beneath rigid exteriors or happy faces often lies the worst homesickness has to offer. It’s much better to acknowledge your feelings and be honest about them. You never know — your honesty may encourage someone else to talk about their own struggles.
4. It’s okay to not know what you're doing.
Although it sounds cliché, college is the time in your life to really find yourself. The trials and tribulations of adolescence are what begin to shape us into the people that we are meant to be. Although many adults beg to differ, entering college undecided is not such a bad thing. In a generation so obsessed with instant gratification, we often crave immediate answers. However, it’s important to embrace every doubt, failure and question. You have the rest of your life to have it all figured out. Expect and accept your mistakes. Savor your spontaneity.
5. Give it the first semester, at least.
There’s nothing more disappointing for me than to see people transfer so soon into their college experience. How can you give up something before even giving it a chance? The first couple of months are difficult for everybody and maybe sometimes going away just isn't meant for everybody. However, I don't feel as though transferring is justified until waiting, at least, until the conclusion of the first semester. Despite extremely difficult transitions, you really need to push through and try your hardest to make the most of your situation. There’s a good chance that once these bad days pass, you'll wind up loving your school.
6. Find a balance.
Although academics have allowed you to earn your place in college and are the primary reason for your college attendance, they are not entirely the reason why you're away. If you could be receiving a similar education with a — most likely — substantially lower price tag, why are you choosing to go away? The extra expense is payment for your experience. That is not as to say that your academic career is meaningless, but don't discount your social life in its defense. It’s important to find a healthy balance between bookworm and social butterfly.
7. Be aware and beware of hookup culture.
Whether or not you choose to participate in the world of college hook up culture is entirely self derivative. Regardless of the personal preferences, the concept itself is unavoidable. It’s nearly impossible to avoid it as a topic of conversation. Setting your own morals and values along with staying true to them regardless of outside influence is practically vital. Don't be afraid to be open with your feelings either. Honesty with both yourself and others, regardless of what others may think, will earn you much more respect than judgment. As long as you are mentally and physically equipped to face whatever opinions are presented to you, there’s no doubt you'll be just fine.
8. College is 100 percent what you make of it.
In virtually every aspect, your college experience is purely the effects of your own efforts. Spending day after day crying in your dorm watching Netflix will take you nowhere. Especially in the sense of friendships, you cannot expect any growth without work. Even if somebody else makes the first effort, you can’t realistically expect everybody to come to you. Wallowing in self pity is always fruitless. Leave your room! Get involved and get social! Reach out to potential friends; make that first effort; it won’t go unnoticed. A successful college life thrives off of genuine effort and positivity.
