“Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other.” With that being said, from the moment my sister was born I wasn’t sure if I’d like being a big sister. Most young kids are enthused by the idea of being the role model, the older sibling, someone to look up to. For me, I liked the attention from my parents, I liked being the center of their world, the apple of their eye, their one and only. It took me a while to get used to the fact that I would never be just one, that there would always now be two. Growing up with my sister was an annoyance, always wanting to dress like me, hangout with me, be like me. She was now the cutest grandchild, the one with the bouncy blonde hair and big blue eyes. I never realized how selfish I was growing up until I look back now and see that there was always room for two.
They don’t tell you how hard being a big sister is. They don’t tell you how clingy they are, how it feels to always be number two. They don’t tell you that your life is going to get harder and you are going to feel like you are always second best. They don’t tell you your parents are always going to believe she does no wrong and that you now have to be more responsible than you know how to. They don’t tell you how hard it is to set an example for someone who looks up to you the way she does and they sure as hell don’t tell you all the clothes she’ll steal.
But, they also don’t tell you how she will become your whole world. They don’t tell you that you would do just about anything for the curly headed big blue eyed girl. They don’t tell you that you’d commit crimes to keep her safe, and you’d spend nights in to snuggle and watch movies when she’s had a bad day. They don’t tell you that you’ll cry like a baby when a boy breaks her heart and that you’ll miss her when she goes away to college. They don’t tell you that every fight you have is pointless because you know you’ll always make up. They don’t tell you that she’ll become your best friend, shell be the one you want to call at 1 am when you have an anxiety attack and the one you will quote silly movies for hours with. They don’t tell you that you’ll want to be better person so she has someone to look up to. And they don’t tell you that you’ll love her with your whole heart.
Being an older sister is hard, and it’s a lot of work but they’re worth it. They are worth having to go through the tough things first. They are worth being scolded at by your parents because you should know better and do better. They are worth having to be better and to set an example. They are worth not being the center of attention and sharing the spotlight with. Little sisters are a gift in disguise and they are often much stronger than meets the eye. Some days I think about how it would be if roles were reversed, if she went through the tough stuff first--the breakups and broken hearts, the disappointing the parents, the broken curfew and scolding. I think how my life would be if I was the curly haired blue eyed girl, if I wasn’t second best. But then I think about how awful I would be blonde and how I was meant to be the older sister. I was meant to mess up and set the example, I was meant to break the rules first so she could learn what not to do. I was meant to teach her how to be a role model and the best ‘faking sick’ acts to fool our parents. It’s easy to look at things in reverse but I wouldn’t trade a thing. I wouldn’t trade the mountains I would climb to see her smile, or making a fool of myself to make her laugh. I wouldn’t trade having to be the mess up, the dysfunctional, or crazy older sister.
And lastly, the thing they never tell you when they tell you you’re going to be an older sister is just how amazing it really is.
