Sorority girls receive such a bad reputation it makes me sick. The world seems to think that all we do is party, sleep with frat guys, and party some more. Hollywood has placed sorority girls into such a fine-tuned stereotype that we can never escape from. We are more than what others portray us to be. We are the future leaders of our world.

I never grew up with visions of joining a sorority. In fact, the thought of joining a sorority reminded me too much of my middle school cliques where I was bullied relentlessly. But as I prepared for college, I figured that it couldn’t hurt to give sorority life a chance. If I didn’t like it, then I could always drop out and keep my sanity intact. Everybody I spoke to said that recruitment would be extremely stressful and emotionally exhausting. There were some people who cracked underneath the extreme pressure. If they were not invited back by certain sororities, it was unbearable for them. At nights, I would walk past several girls who were crying with disappointment. But for me, I slid through recruitment with flying colors and received a bid from a house that I hadn’t even considered before I began recruitment.

Kappa Alpha Theta became my new home.

As soon as I opened the letter and knew that Theta was calling me home, my life changed. The older members screamed with excitement as I ran down the stairs toward them and gave me giant hugs, even though I didn’t know most of them. Everywhere I turned, there was a smiling face ready to welcome me into the sisterhood. For once, I felt as though I was where I was belonged.

The next four weeks were a whirlwind of learning everything I could about Theta. There were mandatory classes, pledging ceremonies, and lots of hugs. These older Thetas couldn’t get enough of me. If I came across them on campus, they knew my name and made sure they said hello to me. The sisterhood that I was now a part of had woven itself into every facet of my school. I loved it.

One of the biggest components of being in a sorority is receiving your Big. She serves as your big sister who helps you with initiation and is like your own personal mentor in the sorority. Big/Little reveal is nearly as important as Christmas in the sorority world and involves as many gifts. I didn’t know who my Big would be but she had been leaving clues in my room for a week and I couldn’t wait to see who she was.

Only one weekend stood between me and the day I got to meet my Big. Some of my other sorority sisters picked me up from my dorm and said that we were going to a party. I had virtually no other friends on campus so I piled into the tiny car with four other sisters and cranked up the music.

The frat house we went to was nowhere near as foreboding and exotic as I expected a frat house to be. Instead, it was dirty, crowded, and hot from all of the drunk bodies dancing around inside. My sisters quickly bounced from group to group and I followed them, awkwardly introducing myself to upperclassmen and making small talk. I wasn’t having very much fun but I was determined to stick it out like a good sister. Another partygoer must have noticed my suffering because she came over and quickly introduced herself to me. It turned out that she was also in Theta but I just hadn’t had the opportunity to meet her before. We hit it off and began talking. She introduced me to her friends who were just so excited to meet this baby Theta and insisted that they take care of me all night. As I left that evening, I remember thinking of how I wished that I hadn’t already been assigned a Big, because I wanted this girl, Paige, as mine.

Big/Little Reveal is an emotional ceremony. People are screaming with excitement, emotions are high, and there are hundreds of pictures to commemorate the event. I vividly remember standing outside the door with five other girls from my pledge class as we anxiously waited. Everyone else had already been given their Bigs and we were the last ones to go. Our pledge mother gave each of us a square of wrapping paper that would match up to the wrapping paper that our Bigs were wrapped up in. She handed me and another girl, Monica, identical pieces of paper. We looked at her quizzically to see if there had been some mistake.

“Oh look at you two, you’re going to be twins!”

Twins? I had been an only child my entire life and did not want to share my big, whomever she was. My new twin and I had never spoken but it looked like we were going to be related in a matter of minutes. This wasn’t how I planned on Big/Little Reveal going but I didn’t appear to have a choice.

We all opened the door and climbed the stairs to where our new big was hiding in the same silvery paper that we held in our hands. Monica and I tore off the wrapping paper and officially met our big for the first time.

I couldn’t believe it when I saw Paige, the big I had been hoping for, standing there in front of us. Everybody was so excited and cheering for us. In that moment, nothing else mattered but sisterhood.

Participating in Kappa Alpha Theta’s initiation was an incredible experience too. Nobody is allowed to repeat the secret to non-initiated members. Sitting in a room with dozens of my sisters, we experienced rituals that only members of Kappa Alpha Theta had ever been a part of. If that isn’t sisterhood, then I don’t know what is.

Even after I moved to Germany for a year, I could still feel the Theta sisterhood. Two of my sisters lived with me and it was wonderful to always have them to turn to.

Sorority life isn’t just about wearing costumes and going to frat parties. It’s about crying with your sister after you’ve been mugged in a foreign country. Sorority life isn’t only about crafting gifts. It’s about being there for your sister no matter how late it is. Sorority isn’t just four years. It’s for life.