What Self Care Really Means

What Self Care Really Means

It's not selfish, it's necessary.
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Self-care is a lot more than just taking a bubble bath and putting on your favorite playlist. There are a lot of different factors that go into caring for yourself and it can be hard to remember all of them if you tend to be a busy person. Ultimately, you are your longest relationship, and you should and need to take the time and effort to care for your mind, body and spirit.

There are a lot of ways to care for yourself, and it’s up to you to decide what works for you and how you want to go about doing so. In general, I believe self-care requires being in touch with yourself. Knowing your limits, knowing what you do and don’t like, and simply being aware of you. It’s doing the things that make you feel good and happy and whole, and lessening doing or being around things that don’t.

Take time to dedicate to yourself in whatever way that may be - a spa trip, a nap, yoga, a mani-pedi, anything that you enjoy. Take the time and make the effort to love yourself. Embrace your flaws and everything wonderful about you. Spend time with people you love and who love you. Meditate or pray - whatever brings peace to your mind. Write out the thoughts and emotions that clutter your mind. It’s amazing how freeing that can be. Stress can be harmful to the body and mind -- and part of self-care is to take care of your mental health. Taking time for yourself can greatly relieve such stress.

You only get one body, so treat it well! Drink water, get enough sleep, use that bath bomb you’ve been dying to use, eat your fruits and veggies, go outside and be active. Taking care of yourself physically can also be rewarding mentally.

When I list ways to provide self-care, it can sound fairly easy. The hard part is actually doing it. There will be days where you lack in the area of self-care, and that’s okay. Just remember to love and respect yourself enough to get back on track. When our lives get busy, it’s easy to put ourselves as the last priority, but it’s not worth it when you let that become a habit and end up compromising so much of yourself.

Schedule in time for you and the things that bring light to your life. Listen to yourself and what your mind and body may tell you. Listen, then act. Determine what’s important to you and what you need to do in order to keep a balanced heart and mind. Caring for yourself is not selfish, it’s necessary.

“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival."

Cover Image Credit: Self Love Beauty

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I Ghosted My Old Self For 5 Months In An Effort To Reevaluate My Life

My life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

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BREAKING (not fake) NEWS: It's true, you have to hit your lowest before hitting your highest.

I want to share my lowest with you, and I'm almost ashamed to say it had nothing to do with the loss of both of my parents. I like to think I handled that like a warrior.

Turns out I didn't, and the hurt I've been burying from that hit me all at once, the same moment my life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

My life flipped upside down overnight back in August. I had my heart broken shattered, lost two very important friendships that I thought were with me until the end, lost my 9-5 job, my health took a hit stronger than a boulder, and I was absolutely lost. For the first time, ever, I let go of the reigns on my own life. I had no idea how to handle myself, how to make anyone around me happy, how to get out of bed or how to even begin the process of trying to process what the f*ck just happened. I was terrified.

Coming from the girl who never encountered a dilemma she couldn't fix instantaneously, on her own, with no emotional burden. I was checked out from making my life better. So I didn't try. I didn't even think about thinking about trying.

The only relatively understandable way I could think to deal with anything was to not deal with anything. And that's exactly what I did. And it was f*cking amazing.

I went into hiding for a week, then went on a week getaway with my family, regained that feeling of being loved unconditionally, and realized that's all I need. They are all I need. Friends? Nah. Family. Only. Always.

On that vacation, I got a call from the school district that they wanted me in for an interview the day I come home. It was for a position that entailed every single class, combined, that I took in my college career. It was a career that I had just gotten my degree for three months before.

I came home and saw my doctor and got a health plan in order. I was immediately thrown into the month-long hiring process for work. I made it a point to make sunset every single night, alone, to make sure I was mentally caught up and in-check at the same exact speed that my life was turning. I was not about to lose my control again. Not ever.

Since August, I have spent more time with family than ever. I've read over 10 new books, I've discovered so much new music, I went on some of my best, the worst and funniest first dates, I made true, loyal friends that cause me zero stress while completely drowning me in overwhelming amounts of love and support, I got back into yoga, and I started that job and damn near fell more in love with it than I ever was for the guy I lost over the summer.

But most importantly, I changed my mindset. I promised myself to not say a single sentence that has a negative tone to it. I promised myself to think three times before engaging in any type of personal conversation. I promised myself to wake up in a good mood every damn day because I'm alive and that is the only factor I should need to be happy.

Take it from a girl who knew her words were weapons and used them frequently before deciding to turn every aspect of her life into positivity — even in the midst of losing one of my closest family members. I have been told multiple times, by people so dear to me that I'm "glowing." You know what I said back? F*ck yes I am, and I deserve to.

I am so happy with myself and it has nothing to do with the things around me. It's so much deeper than that, and I'm beaming with pride. Of myself. For myself.

I want to leave you with these thoughts that those people who have hurt me, left me, and loved me through these last couple of months have taught me

Growth is sometimes a lonely process.
Some things go too deep to ever be forgotten.
You need to give yourself the permission to be happy right now.
You outgrow people you thought you couldn't live without, and you're not the one to blame for that. You're growing.
Sometimes it takes your break down to reach your breakthrough.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

My god, it's so f*cking good.

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If You Don't Prioritize Yourself, 2019 Won't Be Your Year

You should always put yourself first and don't let anyone tell you different.

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Every year starts out the same. Everyone adopts the "new year, new me" mantra, applying it to their everyday life, whether in a large aspect or a small one. Some people might stick to their goals, while others fall short and revert back to old habits (which is the category I tend to find myself under). Whether you stick to your goals or don't, something you need to ensure you always do no matter what is to put yourself first, or 2019 will be a disappointment.

You are your own worst enemy, so by putting others before you, you're only injuring yourself. Yes, I know it feels good when you do something great for someone else, but it doesn't feel so great when you're not being reciprocated for anything you have done. We don't do things expecting rewards, but if you're constantly loaning friends money when they don't have enough, whose bank account is really suffering? Evidentally not theirs if they're never spotting you or paying you back, yet can afford to constantly buy things. Prioritize yourself when you feel you're being taken advantage of and speak up, whether it's a situation like this one or something entirely different.

If you never put yourself first how do you expect to ever be truly happy? You are the one who controls your fate, if you want to subject yourself to ensuring the happiness of others before yourself, then that is your downfall. You need to make sure you are happy before you decide to help others find their happiness. You also cannot meet anyone to date that is worth your while until you're truly happy in your own skin.

Self-love is super important and it's really been stressed in recent years. Falling in love with yourself is the key to a happier, healthier life. I have never put myself first up until recently and was sabotaging my own happiness at the expense of others, who I thought would make me happy when they did the opposite. I tend to be too harsh on myself and how I look and act, but that is coming to an end this year. Before I do anything, I will stop and think about its effect on me before anyone else. If it doesn't benefit me whatsoever, I'm out. Unless of course, it's charity work or something along those lines.

Once you prioritize yourself, you'll notice your life begin to change for the positive. Cut out negative people who make you feel belittled and do not let them hurt you any longer. Update your wardrobe and spoil yourself. Buy those cute sneakers you've been eyeing or that new palette you've had in your shopping cart on Ulta. Whatever it is, don't forget to spoil yourself every now and then. Go see sunsets, go out for breakfast, meditate, or journal, but please please do what makes you happy no matter what it is.

2019 can very well be your year once you prioritize yourself. Even if you don't go to the gym every day like you want to, or can't give up going to Dunkin every day, as long as you put yourself first, everything will be the best it can possibly be.

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