You see her sitting in the back of the classroom, usually engrossed in whatever what was due in class that day, in a book, or casually scrolling through Facebook, trying to look social. She rarely speaks up in class and is usually nervous when making casual conversation with her classmates. When it comes time for group presentations, she panics over actually engaging with other classmates outside the classroom. When the professor mentions that class participation is a part of your final grade, she starts to hyperventilate and worry about her final grade because she knows that class just got 10 times harder. Here's a tale from the quiet girl you hardly ever notice.
You don't see her. You rarely ever hear from her. But she's there. She's there, listening to all the class discussions. She actually has something to say but she just can't get it out because she's afraid of what people might think of her opinion. The level of difficulty and confidence it takes for her to speak out in class is high. It takes every fiber in her body to raise her hand. Usually, she doesn't speak; she sits there, engrossed in the material but never piping up.
"Speak up," is what she's heard countless times. It will boost your overall performance and it helps you, they said. Numerous times, professors have said to actively participate in class discussions and ask questions every time they are confused about something. Little do they know the quiet girl in the back is bursting with questions, but the butterflies in her stomach are overpowering them all.
When asked to participate in group projects, she frets about her grade and having to interact outside of the classroom with people she barely knows. What if they don't like my opinion? What if they don't like what I have to say? What if they don't accept my information and knowledge on the subject? And then when it comes time for group presentations, she appears nervous, shy, quiet, and constantly looking everywhere around the room trying to find a common ground.
The quiet girl is almost always ignored, left out of the process of discussion. She quietly listens, takes notes diligently, but never participates. She's afraid. She's afraid of other people's opinions of her. And it's totally not her fault. She's quiet--not judgmental. She's not judging you; she is afraid to speak her mind. She envies the people who can speak anything that comes to mind. She wonders what it takes to be outgoing. So next time you automatically assume if a person is shy they're mean and judgmental, remember that they're being shy because they're just afraid to say what they really want to say.
Remember the next time you see a quiet girl sitting in the back of the classroom. Go say hi, it will make her day.
