How many days until summer vacation?
Eighty seven days until I get to get away from this classroom. Eighty six days until I can have my Star Wars marathon. Eighty five days until I can get through a day without smacking my palm against my head at the stupidity of some people. Eighty four days until I stop getting countless emails from these kids. Almost there. I can do this.
Oh, very clever kid, like I would never notice you texting behind that book of yours.
How about you come up with a more clever way to hide the fact that you're texting during my lecture. I might be older than you, but I’m not blind. Could you not stand to be away from your precious device for an hour? (bzzzzzz, bzzzzzz) Crap, I definitely forgot to turn my phone on silent.
I wish I could take a nap too.
Why do they even come to my class if they’re just going to sleep? I want to sleep. I’m tired, too. Maybe I could put on an “educational video” and close my eyes for a second. I’ll turn out the lights and they will never notice. We could have a joint napping session in class. Wait, could I actually do that? I could get fired. Is it worth the risk?
You’re and idiot, you’re and idiot, you are definitely an idiot.
These kids are so stupid. How can they not understand this? It’s just quantum physics. No, I am not going too fast kid. You are just too stupid to keep up. How did you even graduate from high school? If one of these kids comes and asks me how to do this after class, I’m going to slap him. I already spent an entire class period going over it. It’s not my fault you were dropped on your head as a child. And let’s face it, you're all going to fail the test no matter what you do. Because you’re idiots and there is nothing I can do about it … except I can get fired if they all fail. Alright, extra credit it is. Why can’t I offer extra credit, like twenty extra credit points if you bring the teacher a donut? Yeah, I should really start doing that.
Kid actually answers question posed — oh my God! I’m not just talking to myself up here.
I’ve finally gotten through to someone. I have finally received a response! Hallelujah, praise The Lord, praise Jesus. What are you doing? Stop waisting time. I need to follow up with the kid and ask him another question and maybe I can create an actual dialogue in this class. (Asks another question, nodding encouragingly at the kid. No response). Dang it, I really thought I had it this time.
Oh good, 20% of the class showed up today.
Fine. If those lazies don’t want to show up and listen to my genius then that’s their problem. I’ll just tell these kids a bunch of stuff that will be on the test and laugh when the slackers miss it. I should just tell all the students that we have a test next Wednesday. Then everyone would show up and I could be like “Sike! I lied.” Then I would be loved because I had canceled this pretend test, and I would also have a full classroom to lecture, too. Yep, I’m going to do it. But then would they be up all night studying and stressing? Awh, I can’t do that. Yes I can, they’re all ungrateful hooligans anyways.
