Depression is a really strange disorder. It can turn the happiest people into shells.

No appetite.

No desire.

No motivation.

But you can't take blame for it. You can't wonder what you did wrong to make me feel this way. Because you did nothing wrong. Genetics, chemical imbalances, and unfortunate events all lead up to the disorder.

But I am still me.

Despite the change in my mood, attitude, and motivation; I am still me. Deep down inside I am still the same bubbly, funny, and laughable me.

I still make jokes, I still have a fun time, and I still can sing along to any Hannah Montana and Jonas Brother's throwback you could play for me.

I am still me.

I have my good days and my bad days, and some days I am bordering complacent. But that it just the name of the game.

And when I go from a good period to a bad, it's no one's fault. It's not my fault, it's not your fault, it's not my jobs' fault; it just is.

My lack of motivation comes from the feeling of being constantly exhausted. I can sleep 12 hours and still feel like I can sleep more. My lack of motivation affects my self-care practices more than anything. My ability to concentrate is pathetic, but I do my best.

During a bad period, I eat like shit, I don't drink enough water, and I definitely don't care about how I look when I drag myself out of bed.

Telling me to be happy isn't going to help; neither will reminding me all the good I have in my life.

I know I have a good life.

I know how blessed and fortunate I am.

But depression does not discriminate.

You can be rich, poor, white, black, Asian, Hispanic; you can develop any kind of depression disorder at some point in your life.

My depression won't last forever.

Whether it's chronic or acute, it won't last forever. It can last days, weeks, months, or years; but not forever.

I can have repeated episodes, but I won't be depressed until the day I die.

Depression doesn't mean I am suicidal. It doesn't mean I don't want to be here anymore; I may feel like giving up, but not on life.

Some people with depression may want to end their life, but that's not always the case.

I am not embarrassed, I won't hide the fact that I have it.

But I may fake a few smiles every now and again to prevent you from worrying.

I am not suffering or struggling.

Because I am a warrior.