It is sad and unfortunate but Donald Trump is president now and has been for almost two months. During that time he has failed to create a better healthcare plan for Americans, spent minimal time physically in office, and forced Secret Service to rescue him from eight consecutive grease fires while cooking Trump steaks. That’s on top of an already long list of presidential shortcomings. This is the man’s first job in politics; he’s been accused of sexual assault by several women and he has no dog in the white house which is criminal. On the topic of sexual assault, we still have video evidence of him admitting to sneaking into women’s changing rooms and groping people from before the election. Good lord. Didn’t we throw out Bill Clinton for adultery? And comparatively it wasn’t even that bad, Bill’s a charmer, what can we say? And although there’s no legal adultery on paper in Trump’s case, let’s be real.

THIS IS THE FACE OF AN ADULTERER.

So what’s up with our last good president, Barack Obama?

Instead of Roosevelting the shit out of the Oval Office, he’s moved peacefully into post-presidency. Many were delighted to see him learning to kitesurf in the British Virgin Islands as the Secret Service present there watched and the Secret Service back in Washington set about childproofing electrical outlets.

Later, In February, he was greeted by many adoring fans in New York city. While there he attended a broadway show whilst current President Bobo the Clown doll continued to make a mockery of the US executive branch.

Oh? What’s this?

Huh. It’s a tear-stained “Yes We Did” sticker. Wonder how that got there.

Anyway, that’s mostly what he’s been up to. I think he’s writing a book or something? I don’t know. I’m gonna take a long shower and think about 2008-16.