This is what not to do when someone is having a panic attack:
1."Count to ten"- Hmm okay how about NEVER. Counting isn’t fun for people not in extreme anxiety mode, why would this calm me down ever (note: I know there are people who benefit from counting exercises but those people are 100% yoga masters or yoda)? If you tell me to ‘count to ten’ in the midst of a panic attack I may or may not scream like an enraged velociraptor.
2."Breathe"- Okay this makes seriously no sense. Don’t yell at me to breathe. I would be breathing normally if I could, thanks. This is like telling a person with insomnia to sleep. This is basically telling a person who can’t breathe regularly to breathe regularly. I WAS ALREADY TRYING THAT AND IT PROBABLY WON’T WORK FOR A COUPLE MINUTES CHILL. I know you are trying to help, but commanding someone to breathe may make them feel like what they are going through isn't that big of a deal.
3."What’s happening?"- I wish I could explain that to you right now, but this might only be the absolute worst time to ask what a panic attack is. I might try to say something like “Just give me a minute”, but it will probably come out as “hrgh clohuh gurglegrr”. It is hard for me to speak right now- can you wait after my body is not in absolute crisis mode? Seriously though, I do love educating people about mental illness. However, please understand that I can't speak very well right now.
4.Freak out/scream/cry- Generally, if someone is panicking, it doesn’t help by responding with more panic. For example, screaming out, “She’s shaking uncontrollably!” as I appear to be seizing will cause more seizing probably.
5.Laugh- Sometimes the body resorts to laughter if you feel uncomfortable, and that’s understandable. But the person who is experiencing the attack wants nothing less than to feel like their reasons for freaking out aren't valid.
6."It’s not that big of a deal"- IT’S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL- ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME YES IT IS A MASSIVE DEAL TO SOMEONE GOING THROUGH A REALLY TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. Phrases like these come from people who have never experienced panic or severe anxiety. Please educate yourselves on the severity of these types of episodes.
7."Why are you shaking/rocking/whimpering/crying?"- I know you care. I really do. I know, it might be completely random why I just started sobbing. It might not be clear how I can be fine one minute and now I’m shaking really bad and having a hard time speaking. It definitely makes no sense why it now looks like an actual demon is escaping my body. Again, this is a really bad time for me to explain why my body is in crisis mode.
Panic attacks are traumatic. They unfortunately are pretty common for those with mental illness, and can also happen to those who are not. Please treat panic attacks as serious as they are!
