All week, there have been articles floating around on the Web about the Target boycott, special bathrooms for people who view themselves as transgender, x-amount of examples that show that transgender people using the same bathroom is dangerous and why Target has a huge problem on their hands, I found no real articles supporting Target, decrying the boycott, or speaking to Christians who are boycotting, save one.
A woman who blogs at ministryinthemommyhood.com wrote a lengthy piece describing why Christian people should take it from this conservative Christian pastor’s wife on why we shouldn't boycott Target and how hateful and insensitive we sound while doing so. Her article received so many hits that it was inaccessible for lengthy periods of time. I was relieved to read her article. It isn’t that I'm raising a flag for the cause of transgender people everywhere. I hurt for people who don’t feel comfortable with themselves as they were born, whether in regard to gender, upbringing or any other reason. I think, to an extent, everyone feels that way in regards to something in their lives, but not always to the depth that others feel or experience.
In my own life, the only cure for the ache of dissatisfaction, emptiness, and identity struggle is Jesus. I trusted Him and my life changed. The empty places were filled with the Spirit of God, and I began to understand the purpose for which I was created. But, that isn’t really the intent of this piece. I’m writing because I have some concerns. I don’t want this to be a sensational, rant-y piece meant to stir up trouble, or to blame or shame anyone. I love people. I don’t care what gender you identify as. I’m not saying that if you identify with another gender, I won’t have questions about that. I won’t ask them of you unless you and I are close enough to have comfortable conversations with one another, because I wouldn’t necessarily chit-chat with just anyone about my sexuality. Although, for people who are confused or amazed by my ability to live a celibate life as an unmarried Christian woman, there are sometimes people who do feel bold enough to ask about it.
I'll be honest. I could never claim to understand the turmoil experienced by individuals who identify as transgender. There are decisions to be made about whether to publicly adopt the gender identity with which one feels he or she most identifies. While I can't say that I agree that ignoring or abandoning birth gender is the answer to settling that internal turmoil, what transgender individuals feel and how they act upon those feelings is not up to me. God made each of us and loves each of us, not based upon our performance but on His character and nature. Because that is my belief, I've chosen to leave it all up to Him where the judging is concerned. I'm aware that many readers may not share my belief system, and as a result, am not asking or expecting anyone to applaud it. This really isn't about me.
Jesus said that the world would hate me as it hated Him first because a lot of what Jesus teaches is controversial. Jesus also said that the world would know we're Christians by our love. That’s actually what I want to write about: The way that Christian people show love to and feel about those with whom we share the world. This may upset some people. Where I am wrong, biblically, I'm happy to engage in polite dialogue about those errors. If you don’t follow the Bible as your guideline, I don’t know that we will have neutral enough ground from which to hold a discussion, but I'm willing to make the attempt if you are. Here are my thoughts.
Christians, I’m concerned about the way we talk about topics like this. People are generally frightened by what they don’t understand and by what they believe to be wrong. Listen, agreeing to treat someone kindly doesn’t mean you agree with their lifestyles and decisions. I have many friends who aren't Christians, or not any religion at all, who are kind to me, respectful of my faith and the accompanying implications (topics and posts they share, language they use in my presence, events they ask me to attend), despite the fact that they don't share my beliefs. I have friends who have voiced their disagreement with posts I’ve made. They have never called me names, threatened me or chosen not to be my friends. They may have blocked all of my posts so they don’t have to read my opinions, but they haven't deleted me from their lists of friends or stopped engaging in conversation. I see no reason to do any differently. Here are a few reasons the Target Boycott concerns me.
I'm concerned about the approach we take when we boycott businesses. Who are we boycotting, and why? It seems like it might be an effective approach, but consider the fact that there isn’t a new law driving Target’s new policy. There are at least a dozen states who have already had anti-discrimination in public forum laws in place from as far back as 1993 to 2011. Before Target announced its policy, which bathroom did you think transgender people were using? What do you think the policies are of other stores you may frequent? Is it that this particular store made a vocal stand that has caused you to pull your business? What about the stores whose policies are the same but haven’t publicly announced it? Will you boycott those businesses, as well?
Someone I trust gave me an analogy regarding boycotts. He suggested that we might refuse to go to one coffee vendor because we don’t agree with its policies. We may then turn around and buy our coffee from another vendor, one whose background we may not know. Is the second coffee vendor any more godly than the first? Probably not. Other than the possibility that a boycott may change one company’s policy, what's the policy of your chosen coffee source?
I’ve heard many people say that it isn’t that they believe that transgender people are going to harm their loved ones, but that they fear those who will use the law to their advantage to that end. I understand this fear. Still, those things have been happening without Target’s policy in place. In an article published by Brietbart, there were listed 24 articles that referenced instances proving the danger of Target’s policy. Of those articles, only five actually involved anyone using the excuse of being transgender as a means of gaining access to women (and not within the dates of this current policy announcement).
The remaining 19 articles were largely about individuals filming people using restrooms without their knowledge, and most frequently in bathrooms either labeled “unisex” or bathrooms which corresponded to the perpetrator’s gender. This kind of reporting concerns me. You do your cause no good when your reports don’t accurately reflect the evidence you have gathered. In fact, many have written about men filming in the men’s room. One even cited a man filming men in his home. I’m not saying you have to like the situation, but please be sure that what you report as your reasoning is honest reporting. People are up in arms over the "new" danger to their wives and daughters. What about our sons who have always been at risk of harm by male predators stalking men's rooms? Laws don't enable or prevent criminals from doing anything. If they cared about the law, they wouldn't be criminals. If one encounters a man in the men's room who seems suspicious, that should be reported as suspicious activity. A transgender individual using a restroom does not look the same as a creeper loitering in a stall in an attempt to get a glimpse of someone using a toilet. If it is really a concern, don't use the restroom in a location where you don't feel secure. This is always good advice. I don't use the restroom at night in a sparsely populated bus or train terminal.
Regarding security: Yes, we have a right to keep our children safe. But, if, in the attempt to ensure the safety of our loved ones, we alienate people who might one day be willing to have a conversation about the Savior, is that worth it? We aren’t called to take the gospel only to where it's safe. Doesn’t the Bible tell us not to fear the one who can physically harm our bodies, but to fear the One who can destroy both body and soul in hell? If you're a Christian, your Bible says that. We live out the love of Christ by not refusing to love those who are different from us, even if we believe they are wrong. I believe when we choose to honor God by lovingly and patiently caring for those who are different, He will work through that willingness to draw others to faith in Him.
As I said before, if you aren't Christian, I don’t expect you to agree with my lifestyle, nor with the source of my faith—the word of God. But what I do know is that people who aren't believers and who do have a problem with Christians seem to have a decent idea about what they think the Bible says about the way we're to treat others. While they may not be 100 percent accurate, they know that kindness, decency, and love are traits we should possess. They know it when we don’t.
Is it worth it to you, Christian? Is it worth it to get on social media and rant in a passionate post about all of the reasons you’re going into the restroom with your wife and daughter? Is it worth it to stand up for your right to pee in a room that is not affected by this boycott, knowing that the impassioned plea you made was hurtful? Not only do we risk hurting transgender people and their loved ones, our angry posts and memes aren't showing lost people the way to Jesus Christ. What did you do before you followed Jesus? What sins did you commit? If you want to make a statement by not shopping at Target, by all means! This is America. It’s completely legal to do it. Not shopping somewhere has the same effect even if you don’t post a meme about shooting someone in the restroom your wife is using. People are not likely to want to know the Jesus we profess to serve if we don’t make our professions in kindness.
If you're of the mind that we aren't required to show love to certain people, I suggest doing a little research into the work of the apostle Paul. He cautioned the church at Corinth by pointing out that they were sinners living sinful lives where Jesus found them, offering the gentle reminder, “such as some of you once were.” Ultimately, as Christ followers, it should be our greatest concern to share the love of Jesus with a lost and dying world. Any time our actions or attitudes don't show first and foremost the love of Christ, we're assigning to ourselves a purpose outside of that for which we were commissioned.
We may claim to be a lot of things, Christians, but if what we claim is not demonstrated by our love toward others, we are as clanging brass or tinkling cymbals. “Faith, hope and love remain, but the greatest of these is love.” (from 1 Corinthians 13)
