As I sat in my room scrolling through Netflix, I began to watch one of my favorite movies, "Grease." I've never really thought anything of it, just that it was my favorite movie, but this time. I got to the last 20 minutes of the movie. The part where Olivia Newton-John sings the Sandra Dee reprise. I took a second and listened to those lyrics and I paid attention, and I realized that the last 20 minutes of " Grease" really relate to me right now.
First, I am a freshman in college. Graduating high school, I had high hopes of going to college and loving every moment of it. Don't get me wrong it, doesn't all suck, but it hasn't been what I hoped at all. It was all picture perfect at the beginning, and it slowly crashed down. I lost friends, and not only that, but I felt like I lost my place. Nothing has been going as I hoped. Not even close. But I've now realized that it is OK.
These lyrics of the song " Sandra Dee" stood out to me because she speaks the truth. That change can be a good thing. That once in awhile, we all need to reinvent ourselves. I realized that yeah, freshman year has sucked, yeah, I have hated it so much and there have been days when I had my heart set on transferring. But I realized that me transferring wouldn't necessarily solve the problem. I would just be running away. And I don't run away from my problems/ I face them head on.
Listening to the lyrics "Look at me, there has to be / Something more than what they see" reminded me that many times in college, I've thought there has to be more to myself than what I see. Weeks went by and I talked to nobody and did nothing, and I am not overexaggerating at all. I constantly thought, "Why aren't people talking to me?" It was almost as if the other students viewed me as someone who wasn't even there. I realize that I have to do work, also. I can't expect people to run up to me. It's a two-person thing that involves me putting in the effort.
Listening to the lyrics "Oh so scared and unsure," I realized that all that's happened to me has held me back. I am scared and unsure. I am scared that sophomore year will be a repeat of freshman year, and I'm unsure of how I'll handle it. Coming into freshman year, I had it all planned out. I was going to be in a sorority, be a cheerleader, have lots of friends and all of this amazing stuff. I was sure that everything was going to be perfect. I wasn't scared at all. I wasn't scared because I had everything figured out, and never in my wildest dreams did I think that would change.
Listening to the lyrics "Sandy you must start anew / Don't you know what you must do?" made me realize that yes, I must start anew. I didn't enjoy being miserable and sad my freshman year, and I don't want my sophomore year to be like that, either. So yes, of course, I know I have to start anew. And yes, I know what I must do. I need to put myself out there. Yes, it is hard and yes, it terrifies me. but I refuse to put this year on repeat.
And most importantly "Hold your head high, take a deep breath and sigh / Goodbye to Sandra Dee." This was golden for me. Sophomore year, I will enter campus thinking, "Hey, Sam, last year sucked, so let's not do that again" I will hold my head high. take a deep breath and sigh, and tell myself "Goodbye to freshman year."
