Everyone has experienced loss at one point or another, and if they haven't yet they most certainly will. It is one of the most guaranteed experiences in life. Everyone will feel that desperation and sadness when someone or something they love has left this world.
As a child it may have been when you left your favorite teddy bear somewhere and it was gone forever. As a teenager it probably became more about the loss of friends and relationships. After that you start to lose family (that's not to say you don't lose family scattered about your whole life- that certainly happens too). I think that young adulthood is where that loss truly becomes real though. I have lost several important people during my early teenage years and looking back I still don't think I understood the gravity of the situation.
Loss has shown me that all heal differently-yet the same.
Some move forward looking ahead while others remain stuck in a whirlpool of emotions for what seems like an eternity- but regardless it all hurts the same.
The dull ache that you can't get rid of and the memories you playback in your head that keep you up at night. The outbursts of sadness and anger. The sob sessions to those certain songs that no matter what you do you cannot bring yourself to change on the radio dial. It is what makes us human and alive, this pain that is both a blessing and a curse.
I find it to be comforting knowing after all this time I can still have the same reaction to your name or a picture as I did right after you died. It means the emotion is still there and the memories that seem so long ago are in fact real. It means that I am not crazy, and anyone else in the situation is not crazy. It shows that the emotion that I have tried so hard to suppress and eliminate from my life is still there. It shows that I am still here, alive, and a piece of you is too. I can still live my life the way that you would want me to.
Loss has taught me there is no better time to be with the ones that you love than this moment right now.
When you look back on all the times that you could have been with an individual whom you can no longer be with there is often times regret. All of the missed Saturday afternoons or Sunday mornings. The "I already have plans" all suddenly seem like such a mistake, such a waste. How could I have spent all of THAT time doing other things rather than with the ones who aren't here anymore.
Do everything and anything together. Make sure you capture the moments in your mind and on film. Know that those are important. Know that those will bring you joy later. Know that these times are what are truly important.
I have learned to hold onto the little moments that seem so insignificant- because those are the most significant.
The simplest moments make for the best memories. The little moments that are full of love and compassion, those are the ones that you'll hold onto. Whether it is the simple act of holding hands or a phrase that is common amongst you- maybe even a common activity.
It has shown me that saying "I love you" is one of the most important things you can do.
Never miss an opportunity to say it. Ever.
So for all of that Loss, I thank you.
