Before I begin, I just want to make it clear this is not about one specific person, but rather a collection of lessons taught to me by life, after people both physically and mentally “moved” away from me. Whether someone went to college, moved away or stopped being my friend, here’s what I learned from missing someone:

You learn a lot when you miss someone about yourself, about the other person, about the world around you and about your heart.

I learned that time will not slow down no matter how far away the other person is from you. Your day to day tasks will remain the same and you can’t let them get best of you. I learned that you have to use your time just as wisely as before, and life won’t cut you any breaks because of your longing. I learned that days and weeks fly by, but the day to day feels like an eternity. I learned that you eventually get through it. Slowly but surely, you adapt to life without the other person right next to you. It’s hard. You think of something they’d laugh at, but you cower at pressing send because you can’t go through the pain that you’ve boxed inside and pretend like it’s all right. So you shrink back and you worry and you let that get best of you. Don’t, because like I just said, time won’t stop for you. Not even a second. Either reach out or don’t—but don’t let that get the best of you. You’re better than worrying about what someone might say to you. Face the music and accept the choice to reach out or not. Then take a nap maybe, because naps are important and can make life a little less scary.

I learned that you have to find a new thing to make you as happy as they did. Do a sport, sing a song. Do something to help you realize there’s more to life than just that person, no matter how much you care about them. You can’t let the world around you become gray and saturated just because they’re not painting the colors in for you. Recognize that they’ll always help your picture become more vibrant, but that doesn’t mean that without them colors don’t exist and life isn’t joy. Because life is joy and colors do exist and you are in control of your own life. Don’t let them pack up a suitcase, wave goodbye as they head off to school and leave with your broken heart. They’re your friends, they will stay your friends. Things will shift and it’ll be a new experience every time, but you need to remember that just because they live 400 miles away, doesn’t mean they don’t love you anymore. Even if they live five minutes away and you’ve drifted, they still love you. I know you miss their laugh and the way that words spilled out of their mouth like a beautiful mess of thoughts stranded together by “um’s” and “and’s,” but seeing the beauty in the world around you, one where this person is not necessarily the center of which your world revolves, is a tough, but important lesson. You have to let your life go on.

Another thing I learned: social media straight-up sucks. It’s hard seeing your best friend with their new roommate and living a new life away from the one you had both come to know. I learned that your old best friend’s Snapchat story will turn your stomach into knots that don’t come undone, like a poorly tied pair of converse. I learned that their Instagram is the worst thing to look at when you miss them because it shows how happy they are in their new life. In most cases, they’re still your best friends—just, at a distance. Instagram will make you want to scream because you know if the tables were turned and things were different, you’d be making them as happy as they are in the photo they posted two hours ago. It’s hard to see such pre thought out photos on your feed, photos with a witty caption and smiles so wide that it convinces you that they don’t need you to be happy, which in 9/10 cases is false. They still love you and you still make them happy—you just have to realize that they’re sad, too, and that communication is the best thing, not just glancing at social media. Talk to them and reach out. You won’t regret it.

Lastly, I learned to cherish the time I have with them. We are not guaranteed anything on this earth in regards to how long we’ll live to see another sunrise sitting next to them or how much time we have to laugh until we pee with them. So cherish the time with the people you see far and in between, it’ll make it just a little easier and a lot more worth it. This is short because it’s a cliche and everyone gets it. But take the time to FaceTime them and tell them about the funny thing that happened on your drive to work today, or what happened during practice that they’d get a kick out of. Cherish all of the time you have with them, for your sake and theirs.

Life is full of people leaving and people longing, but when you feel oceans apart from one another, try your absolute best to navigate the storms and make it to shore. Love them, love yourself and make the most out of every second you have with them. As I said before and I'll say again, time is never guaranteed, so don’t take it for granted.