It was the second semester of my freshman year of high school and the principal came on the intercom and said "Attention students, teachers, and other faculty members: a former student of Oxford High School has passed away... Joseph Taylor". I sat in silence, looked at my two best guy friends and just started to bawl. Joseph was a part of my friend group and before we could gather what was going on, a million thoughts had run through my head wondering how could it be true.
No one expects to lose a classmate, or friend for that matter, their freshman year of high school. Little did I know that his death would have a lasting impact on how I cope with death nowadays. The grieving process felt like it lasted an eternity when really it only lasted for a couple of weeks. We had prayer vigils, youth directors from church were hosting therapy sessions and the school had counselors that were there for us anytime we needed to talk.
That week was a blur for my friends and me. I can't remember much because we were in such an emotional state, but I learned so much from losing him on how to deal with deaths. I learned that God does things that we can't understand and gather our thoughts on why He does these things, but we need to learn to accept them.
I also learned that the more you try to understand why it happened and how it could have been prevented will not help you move on. Moving on from a death is very hard, and it will take some time. Being stuck on the subject of "why" and "how" will only make it harder for you to move on. Not saying you will fully move on from what happened, but having some sort of peace is better than having none.
The biggest part for me on coping with deaths is realizing that we all could die any minute of any day, and it's better to do something productive with your life now than later. Your life could either be short or long, only God knows. Death encourages me to do something with my life that matters whether it's achieving goals I have set or doing something other than laying around all day.
We all wish we could have one last moment with a loved one that has passed, but we also can think of the happy memories we spent with them. I often think about what it would be like if Joseph was still here and how I could've added some memories to my high school career with him in it. I mostly think about how lucky I was to know such a charismatic person in my life. It is better for me to know that he is now in the happiest place and watching down on all of his friends and family.
