These days people start dating super young and drama always seems to come with it in middle school and high school. But in college you are an adult, relationships should be more serious and less dramatic right? Unfortunately this is not the case. So often people think they have found love and put tons of time and effort into people to try to make relationships work but sometimes you just can't make it work with that person at that time. What people look for in their partners can often be the reason why their relationships zap their energy just to flop anyways.
Typically the reasons why people like each other are what can make and break the relationship. Usually we want partners who are attractive and make us laugh. While both of those are good characteristics, there are other ones that we forget to look for although they should be the most important. How they treat other people should be one of the first things you look at. If they are jerks, make fun of others, or are rude then there is a chance that they might to do same to you. It also shows that they are quite immature, which is not very flattering or enjoyable to be around. Selflessness is another quality that is often forgotten. Someone who puts others needs before their own such as helping a friend with homework, buying food for a friend who is low on money, or if they help a friend find a lost item shows that they can put others needs before their own and that they are highly considerate of others.
Don't rush into a relationship, try to get to know every side of the person you are interested in being with. Everyone has a bad side and it is not fun to get surprised by it one day when you have been dating for a long period of time. Get to know every side of them and see if you really want to deal with and handle that side. They will also have things about them that you will not like, get to know those as well. When you date someone you have to be able to deal with every side of that person and still love and care about them without getting mad at them for that side. That side is part of who they are and it won't grow on you in time, you need to be okay with it before you date.
Money isn't everything. Of course you want a partner who is successful but at college age and several years after that people aren't going to have a great job. They may have a better income than most other people that you see around you but money isn't everything, a plan is. If they don't have a plan as to where they relatively want to end up they might not land a great job in the future. Having a solid idea or plan will usually lead to them having jobs that they are happy with or that will make them more money in the long run.
People generally avoid thinking that the person they like could be abusive or controlling but sometimes people are. It is important to look for signs or hints that someone can be like that before entering a relationship with them. Look for indications such as if they demand to know where you are at all times, who you are talking to, and if they seem to get aggressive at the slightest conflict. If they seem to get aggravated when something doesn't go exactly how they wanted it to go then chances are they may have some anger issues that it would not be wise to get involved in.
The last thing you would want in a relationship is to give more than you receive. In order to avoid this keep an eye out for how much effort they make in the friendship that you are currently in. Do they take the time and money to visit you or are you the one who is always traveling to visit them. Do they adjust their life and schedule to fir you into it or are you the one who always has to rearrange everything in order to see them for a few hours or a day. Make sure that they make as much as effort as you do to communicate. As well as making sure you both are putting in the same amount of energy into the relationship this also can show you how important you are to them compared to other things and people in their lives.
So if you have found someone who you really would like to be with, consider first if you like them for good reasons, if you need to take more time to get to know them, if they have their future kind of planned out, if there is a pretty good chance that they could turn out to be controlling or abusive, and if they are putting in the right amount of effort in the current relationship you both are in. These tips should help you to avoid relationships that take up time and energy and end up failing because of simple issues.
