When I took Health Psychology, I discovered a new side of myself. I had always known that I was softer spoken and tended to be “fragile” compared to others. I previously had attributed it to my introversion, premature birth, and whatever other odd forces came together to form my personality. When the topic of highly sensitive people arose in class, however, the professor described the identifying qualities and my eyes grew larger as I mentally checked off one quality after another as applying to myself. Finally, there is a label for how I interpret the world! I thought.
Referenced in an article from today.com, psychologist Elaine Aron determined that 15-20% of the population could be considered highly sensitive people1. Those who are left unable to identify this trait will often be left feeling weak or needing to change a part of who they are. Aron’s research can be found on her website hsperson.com2, where I found the list of qualities seen in a highly sensitive person. As I share some of the qualities and how they have existed in my own life, I hope that clarity is brought to any other highly sensitive person looking to explain why they are the way they are.
I am easily overwhelmed by a strong sensory input.
When I was a child, I refused to go with my family to IMAX theaters. As I tried to express my fear to my parents, all I could say was that it was “too much, too big.” Now I know that to me as a sensitive young child, the extra big screen combined with the extra loud volume was too much stimulus that it instilled a sense of fear in me.
I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days, into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.
This one doesn’t need much explanation. Some days you just can’t deal.
Other people’s moods affect me.
I tend to be one of those people who can’t deal being around negativity. My response is to either chime in with an optimistic viewpoint or to leave the situation. If I stay around the negativity, it causes me to feel hopeless and depressed.
I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.
Seriously, much more than eight ounces causes me to become uncomfortably jittery and develop heart palpitations. It was so bad I had to wear a heart monitor in high school before we discovered the palpitations were related to caffeine. It does not affect me quite as strongly now, so this is a risk I am often willing to take.
I have a rich, complex inner life.
Sometimes my inner observations and thoughts seem more of a reality than what actually exists around me. I often have to remind myself that I too, am a part of the hustle and bustle, not just an observer.
I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.
Any error in judgment or action is ruthlessly berated. I am horrendously hard on myself and it takes a lot of time to reflect on how to forgive myself. Although it is easily said that we are our own worst critics, the highly sensitive person takes on an extra burden to appear precisely how they intend.
I make a point to avoid violent or scary movies and TV shows.
When I was a kid, we would go to the local video store (the good ol’ days) and find a movie for the night. One time, I got curious and started reading the descriptions on the backs of horror movies. It took me several weeks before I could sleep normally again.
Changes in my life shake me up.
I work well on a plan. I like to have an idea of what is going to happen, and if I am told something will happen, I think about it during the day and how it will be incorporated into my life. When these plans are canceled, I have to completely reanalyze how my time will be spent and how I feel about it. This even occurs with meals. Flexibility is hard.
When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.
I didn’t really talk unless absolutely necessary until I was about twelve. I was deeply affected by social interactions, and often didn’t understand practical jokes or small talk. I preferred talking about the meaning of why things happen. Other conversation seemed pointless and thus I refrained from speech.
Whether this has been an insight into the mind of someone else for you or you discovered you may also be a highly sensitive person, I hope learning about some of the qualities of a highly sensitive person worked as a reminder to act in patience to one another. You never know how life may be perceived by someone else if you never ask.
1 http://www.today.com/health/9-signs-you-re-highly-sensitive-person-t103795
