As soon as I went public with the news that I would be transferring mid-year to Rutgers University, I got hit with a barrage of things like, “Are you sure you can’t tough it out another semester?” and “going in mid-year is going to be a struggle," or “was your old school really that bad?” and other less than supportive words from my family and friends. With the constant buzzing of other people’s opinions flying around in my head, I had no idea what to expect and I was actually getting scared. Now that I am three weeks in, I am basically a transfer pro! Well, not really … but here is what I learned so far!
1. You will find yourself comparing your new school to your old one.
Before I even physically stepped foot onto campus, I found myself starting off many of my sentences with “at my old school …”. This comparison is crippling to your future at your new school because you left for a reason: a new experience! I left my old school because it had a lot of negatives, yet whenever I started comparing the two schools, I started wondering if I made a bad decision by leaving. Now, I realize that what I was doing was comparing a school that I was comfortable and familiar with to a school where everything was new and yet to be explored. I had to start focusing on what was so great about my new school and that’s when I started to realize that I made the best decision for me.
2. It is very tempting to stay in your room, but don’t!
I can be a pretty timid person, so any opportunity for me to stay in my room and keep up with the Kardashians is usually one that I will take. For the first few days, I was throwing myself a pity party with Netflix as my only company. I gave myself every reason to stay in: I didn’t know anyone, it’s too cold out to walk around, or I will look stupid eating alone. I learned very quickly that eating alone in the dining hall is not nearly as stupid as wasting your meal plan by eating goldfish in your room is. Also, I learned that although you may think going to the events your RA plans may be stupid, it’s actually a great place to meet people in your building. (Friends you don’t have to move to see, which is great!) Step out of your comfort zone because you never know when you are going to make those lifelong college friends everyone is always talking about.
3. It’s okay to lose touch with people from your old school.
Although I can safely keep most people I met at my old school in the past, I’ve found myself wondering who is important to keep in touch with. I became overwhelmed wondering if I had to stay Facebook friends with the people that lived on my floor freshman year or send a text to the girl I talked to in History class. In a moment of clarity, I logged into my Facebook and unfriended those people I met my first week of Freshman year and then never talked to again. I’ve also made myself a mental note of the people I wanted to keep in my life. When I was done, it was only three people. Although it seems sad to think that out of everyone you meet at school, you only want to keep in touch with a handful, but I knew this was best. I didn’t want to be so concerned with staying in touch with the people in my past that I didn’t have time to form new relationships.
4. All of your problems won’t be solved just because you transferred.
I had this fantasy in my head that as soon as I transferred schools, all of my problems that I had at my old school would vanish. Transferring is like having your freshman year all over again, just with some prior knowledge of what college is actually like. You will have to start all over at making friends, figuring out the academic expectations, and learning how everything works in a new place. At first, it may seem like transferring was more trouble than it’s worth and that you have created even more problems for yourself, but trust me it gets easier everyday. Whenever I was struggling, I would remind myself of an accomplishment I made today that I didn’t know or couldn’t do yesterday. For example, when I was having trouble figuring out what bus I needed to get on to go to class, I reminded myself that I was able to get to my class today without using a map and I figured out where to get coffee on campus.
5. Don’t compare yourself to the people you see around you.
As a mid-year transfer, it’s hard to just stick yourself into a group. If you transfer at the beginning of the year, it is easy to blend in the Freshman, but when you come in new in January, almost everyone else around you has already mastered the school. Do not let this deter you! The first time I went to the dining hall, I had no idea how to do anything and I found myself getting discouraged because I felt clueless. When I looked around, everyone knew what they were doing and I couldn’t help but feel like everyone was staring at me. Once I realized that I wasn’t as important as I think I am, meaning that people are more focused on getting food for themselves instead of observing the girl who doesn’t quite know where to get silverware, I was able to relax and take my time. Rushing around to fit in isn’t going to do anything but hurt you. If you need to stand still in the middle of campus for a few minutes to get your bearings, then do it because this transition is about you and what makes you comfortable.
I never thought I would be the type of person to transfer schools. Going into a new experience blind crippled me with fear. After three weeks at my new school, I have no idea what I was even afraid of. Trust me, the phrase "If I can do it, you can do it" will never apply to another situation as much as it does to mine. This change may seem terrifying now, but it will be so worth it in the end.
