I was born a romantic. I love everything having to do with love. Growing up I watched tons of romance movies, read a bunch of romance books and was just in love with love. So, I guess you could say I got a good idea of what a human relationship kind of love looked like. I did not see this love just in the movies, but also in my home. For me, the story of how my parents met, fell in love and have continued that love through the years, outshines any love story. And even though I wasn’t there for every year of my parents’ marriage, I have seen them go through a lot. So, here are some things I’ve learned from my parents 27 years of marriage- or at least the 22 years I’ve been here for.
1. Fighting is OK.
OK, so I don’t mean yelling and screaming at each other at the top of your lungs. BUT disagreement is inevitable in any relationship, so it's OK when it happens. Over the years, I’ve heard my parents disagree, and I’ve heard them fight many times. I'm sure they don’t remember any of those times, but when you’re a kid you take notice of these things-plus I have an elephant’s memory, haha. But the important thing is that they’re still together. They realized that a fight doesn’t have to be a huge deal. And even if it does become a big deal, it can be overcome. Because you love them, it can be overcome. Because you apologize and take responsibility for your actions, it can be overcome. As I said, I’ve seen my parents argue, but I’ve also seen them make up, forgive each other and move on. And when you really love someone, that’s easy to do.
2. Sacrifice is Necessary.
Over the years, I’ve seen my parents go through many seasons of their lives. They’ve pursued many things- whether it was something for their jobs, extended families, or just an aspiration they had. But they always encourage each other in these things. They don’t gripe and complain, they just follow the other. When my dad wanted to move back to North Carolina because my grandmother was sick, we did. It was hard, but my mom sacrificed her job and life in South Carolina for my dad. And there are so many other examples of their sacrifices for each other; too many to count. But they have shown me that you do things like this when you love someone. And that it's so much easier to sacrifice something for someone when you trust and respect them and their decisions.
3. The Importance of Prayer.
As I’ve said, over the years my parents have gone through a lot. Losing jobs, friends and family members. But they’ve gotten through it all. And when you ask them how they say through prayer. It's been so encouraging to grow up with two role models who have stress the importance of prayer. But not just singular or personal prayers, communal prayers. Whenever they face a problem they stop to pray and then go on, and if they forget-because we all do at times, when we think we can do it on our own without Him-the other reminds them. And it's just so awesome to see.
4. God has a Plan.
It is such a good thing that He does, because I definitely don’t and I'm sure most of you guys don’t have a concrete one. It's amazing when we can look back and see how His plan for our lives played out. My parents lived only a few states away from each other, but they met each other in another country! Without the Air Force, they would've never met! Think about that. Without that one thing, they would never have met, I wouldn’t be alive and all the wonderful things that the Lord had planned for them to do together, would never have been done. I believe everything we do matters and has a purpose. But I’ve seen it embodied through their relationship.
5. Communication is the Master Key of Life.
My parents always talk. Even when it's hard, they push through. Even when it takes hours to say something, they do it. Because they know how important it is to talk to each other. I'm sure everyone agrees that if you don’t talk to someone your relationship will die quickly. Whether it's through text, calls, or snail mail communication is vital in a relationship. It can be as simple as telling them how your day was or as deep as telling them your dreams and goals. Just tell them everything. Because you will only regret things you don’t say to your loved ones, trust me. Especially talk to them when you’re upset or don’t agree with them. Don’t just bottle it in.
6. Put Your Faith First
Faith is such an important thing. And it is definitely a priority in my family. My parents have always made sure to remind us to put our faith in Him above everything else. Having them as an example of this, has made it easier for me to live it out.
7. Always Say "I Love You"
It's actually a sort of ongoing contest in our family to see who can say “I love you” the most times when we part. I thank my parents so much for this mini tradition they created. It reminds me that even on my worst days I am loved. And more importantly I need to remind others of this truth.
Thanks so much for reading this and I hope these 7 things that I’ve learned from my parents’ marriage inspire and encourage you! Happy 27th anniversary mom and dad!!