For anyone who knows me, it’s no surprise to hear me to constantly say, “My mom is my best friend.” But, the reasons for our closeness exist far beyond her supporting me in college, her constant support for me medically or her being the first and last person I can rely on. The true value of my mother’s impact on me stems from the life lesson she taught me that has never once let me down through any hardship:

“You can rarely control how things play out in life. You most definitely can never control how someone will react, or how they will feel. The only constant you can depend on is how you choose to react to what life throws at you.”

While this may seem completely obvious upon reading, the meaning behind her message has helped me through my hardest obstacles in life. Understanding the meaning behind these words helped me in several aspects of life, most specifically, in college.

Anyone can tell you that even if you’re the nicest, most dependable person, someone is always going to have something negative to say about you. Especially for millennials, we have a hard time grasping that this is going to always be true.

Fully coming to terms with this concept helps you grow as a person in various aspects of your life. If, at the end of the day, someone will always have something negative to say about you, what is the point in trying to debate/intentionally cause conflict over that? Logically, if you control and stand by your actions as resolute, you will know you’ve done the best you can do in that situation.

Anytime I had conflict with friends, relationships, colleagues or with those of higher status of me: my mom was always there to remind me that I can never control what they are going to do or say. I can only control how well I will react to that situation. Applying this has reduced my daily stress level. My goal is that I hope it helps you understand that you will drive yourself into an unhappy abyss trying to please everyone. Be a good person, and good will come unto you.

For some of us, stress is an inevitable aspect of our lives. It pervades everything we do: whether it’s stressing to get to work on time, stressing to finish studying before that exam or stressing to pay your rent. My family and the hardships we’ve faced prove we are no strangers to these unforeseen stressors. From my dog destroying a neighbor’s bumper (on a brand new car, mind you); to supporting five boys, three dogs, and a grandson; and trying to put us all through school: we’ve learned the hard way that if we let stress consume us, we will never truly be happy.

Most importantly, it’s pertinent to realize that life is short. You can only control so much in life. The rest is left up to Chance and Fate. It is weeks like this one that I’ve had to remind myself of my mother’s words that still echo in me even with our 4 and ½ hour distance apart:

“Do the best you can. Control your actions and your reactions. Treat others how I raised you to treat others: with kindness, acceptance, and unconditional love.”