Broken glass and bruised bodies sounds a lot like a crime scene or the evidence of a mosh pit gone wrong. Unfortunately for those of us paying our bills working in retail, this also describes the dreaded Black Friday Sale. The one day every year where the prices drop below the temperature and even pacifists resort to violence just to secure a new TV or gaming system. The thousands of people who flock outside stores can be broken down into seven different categories:
1. The bargain hunter.
This customer is almost always the one causing the line to be backed up through the store on an average Tuesday afternoon. He or she shows up buying either hundreds of things or one single item-- there is no in between. Their next move is to pull out a fist full of coupons, which only leads to complications.
2. The Veteran
One of the best and brightest, this customer is on his or her 15th Black Friday event and has a routine set in stone. He or she picks out the desired products, has the money ready and already knows how everything will fit in the back of the car. Veterans keep the line moving as quickly as possible.
3. The Noob
These customers have no idea what they're walking into or what they're doing. They've only heard about the great deals through word of mouth, and heard the "cool" stories their friends tell them Monday morning at school. They're disorganized and have no idea how to work the crowd they've thrust themselves into.
4. The Focused Father
This man knows what to do and how to do it, even with a family trailing behind. He's got the kids at his ankles, but never falters. He gets what he needs and gets the hell out of there, making sure the kids stay in line and let him get in and out of the store in record time.
5. The Doormat Mother
This woman on the other hand, can be found any day of the year but is especially difficult on Black Friday. She has the kids wrapped around her ankles, while they beg her for different toys and gadgets. They distract and stop her at every chance they get, all the way up until the parking lot.
6. The Slow Moving Sally
It can't be pinpointed to a lack of organization or a distraction from children, but for some reason this customer moves at a snail's pace. Even when you walk them through every step, they just physically move slower than all the rest of them, making your shift that much more unbearable.
7. The Passive Aggressive Patroller
Last but absolutely not least, we all love the guy who stands in line huffing and puffing when someone fumbles their money or a coupon has to be re-entered. Anything less than as fast as possible, and this guy is the first to notice and make a barely-audible comment that does nothing but amp up your ever-building rage.
More important than categorizing shoppers, make sure you're staying safe whether you show up outside the store in the cold or hold off until Monday and shop from the warmth of your bed!
