I genuinely love my job.
I am constantly amazed at kids’ minds and hearts because of how they are constantly open to new experiences and new people that come into their life.
Granted this might not hold true for every kid that I will come across, but these kids at the nonprofit organization I work for have managed to change my life not only for the better, but they changed how I look at the world. They might not see the affect that they have only every staff that goes into work, but I wanted to personally thank every one of them. There are not enough words to thank them for what they do for us.
From the moment I stepped through the double doors, I knew I found a home.
I did not just find a place to clock in and clock out. I found this place on accident. I didn’t expect to be accepted into my college’s work study program in the fall of my freshman year and I didn’t expect to get hired. I certainly didn’t accept to find new passions and opportunities that I could not possibly thank them for. I am beyond appreciative to work with this organization after I graduate from college.
As an Education Assistant Director, I have made it my mission to make homework not be so stressful. I didn’t want homework be something they dreaded after school and I definitely didn’t want school to be a place they feared.
I have often placed these kids’ needs in front of my own just so they can feel safe. I have witnessed meltdowns over homework assignments that are already causing more anxiety than there needs to be in their lives. I have seen my fair share of panic attacks over a small math problem because they forgot what they learned only a few hours earlier.
I tell them I am exactly like them. I get too stressed out too. I cry. I want to give up. More often than not, they look up at me and say, “Really?” with surprised teary eyes and sniffled noses. Sometimes, it shocks them that an adult (even though I am only 23 years old) struggles with the same stress they do. When I am honest with them about my own problems they are more open to sharing with me.
I also found a lot of me in their school related anxieties because I have suffered countless years (more than a decade) working through my own version of school related anxiety. I also found myself relating to them on a person to person level because I often feel kids (even if they are still in middle school) are prejudged by society to not be able to handle the stress of the real world.
First of all, I believe there is no such thing as the “real world.”
Every seemingly trivial issue whether about Johnny getting into a fight with his best friend in the cafeteria or a parent losing their job are the same level in importance. Even though, it might not seem like they are the same level I find that kids are often brushed off or placed to the side because their problems aren’t seen as serious by adults.
Well, I am here to tell them that their issues are important and they deserve to be heard. I will hear them. I will not judge them and brush them aside because my adult issues of student loans and rent payments are more important.
Furthermore, I have found underestimating kids because they are too young or not old enough to understand is almost as worse as overestimating them. Yes, you read that word correctly, overestimating. Overestimating has become just as much pressure because one of the kids I help said it best when he said,
“Don’t underestimate us but don’t overestimate us either because you guys (a.k.a adults) will not only be disappointed but we will also feel bad because we could’t reach your expectations.”
Adults out there, take that in for a moment. A child knows what it feels like to have pressure and not be able to succeed because they are already feel self doubt. I feel adults don’t hear kids. Like actually hear what they have to say and don’t see them as smart well hear is a few things I have learned so far.
1. It’s the little things.
Sometimes, it is just easier to say life is too short too stress out but a person’s life does not reach its fullest potential if they are risking their life worrying about every tiny thing. When they should let themselves focus on letting the little things add up so that they transform into a life well lived rather than a life racing to catch up.
2. You should be nice to everyone because you don’t where they have come from. You might think you know but until you walk in their shoes, you don’t really know for sure.
3. Never ask a kid, “Are you OK?”
Kids hate this so much because they know they aren’t okay so asking if they are is clearly an understatement. They know it is an icebreaker. Instead replace the phrase with “What’s wrong? What happened?” If you don’t you might end up see them “flood Japan with their eye sockets.”
4. If there is something you want to do in life, drop everything, and go do it!
This was an eye opening one for me because I have been telling myself that following your passion is what I want to instill in my future children. So for them to say it means they are understanding their life deserves to be happy and fulfilled.
5. Don’t put people on the spot.
They are less likely to drop everything just to help you. Ask them in advance or some time before so they don’t feel pressured into pleasing you and can think about what will actually help a situation.
6. Be yourself.
Don’t be afraid to be abnormal. No matter who you are in the world even if you’re an adult people will always have something to make fun of you. It will always be true to yourself than spend all your time change everything society has a problem with. You will find it exhausting trying to change and will end up with only a shell. And often that shell becomes just enough to start over.
7. Be a kid...sometimes.
Adults are too often afraid to show their kids their inner kid. I think they want to show them the tougher side or more serious side, but it is okay to act like a kid sometimes. I mean when you are filing taxes or at your job, yes you need to produce a level of professionalism. Once, that is over though feel free to show your kids that you know how to have fun that you were a kid too. You know what it is like to have an imagination.
8. Stay out of trouble or you’ll end up in prison.
I think this is pretty self-explanatory.
9. Life goes on.
Life will get harder and harder for you to think about things that you cannot physically change. Part of why they keep the past behind you is so you only open the present. Sorry about that really bad pun.
10. Don’t do anything unless candy is involved.
I am not sure how accurate this becomes after college ends, but yes I agree. As an artist, I am mighty happy being paid in food. And candy is even better. I mean this child was not talking about bribery or a potential reward system, but when candy is involved life is instantly a hundred times better. Skittles will always be preferred.
11. Don’t use your phone too much.
As someone who never got into the whole social media and texting craze while I was growing up, I think the worst thing socially for a child is to have their parent devote all their time looking down. Children learn from this behavior and will think it is okay to not talk face to face with people. Kids see how their friendship relationships are suffering and they feel the magnetic hold tugging at them.
12. “Don’t let your cookies in the milk too long because they will break off.”
The best I can interpret what this advice means would be is to don’t bite off more than you can chew. Listen to your body. Don’t overwork yourself. Take time away from everyone and everything. If you don’t take time to let yourself relax and slow down you will just sink to the bottom. Don’t be a soggy cookie.
