I'm the kind of person who isn't a big fan of cliques. Some people like them, but personally, I can't stand them. All throughout school I was in a number of cliques. Most of the cliques I was in were usually petty and over dramatic. By the end of high school, I realized that cliques just weren't for me. From my personal experience, there were usually one or two "leaders" in the group that expected everyone else to kiss up to them all the time. Being strong-willed, usually the "leaders" wouldn't get that from me, which would cause some sort of fight. Also, being in a clique made me feel like I had less freedom. This is what made me hate cliques.

I consider a clique as a tight-knit group of friends that are selective about who they let join their inner circle. I'm the kind of person that likes being in open and accepting groups of friends. That's why I don't associate myself with cliques anymore. I decided at the end of senior year that I was done with all the drama. Honestly, it was the best decision of my life. Now I have the freedom to choose all of my friends and live my life the way I want to live it, without judgment.

Some people have different views about cliques than I do. Some people view cliques as a form of acceptance from others, while others see cliques as a confidence booster. I can see where those people are coming from though. Societal acceptance is what most humans crave in life; some more than others. Also, having a group of people that accept you can definitely boost your confidence about everything, trust me, I know. Cliques aren't super important though.

It's okay to not be in a clique. There are quite a few people out there that are insecure about the fact that they aren't in a clique, and let me tell you, they really shouldn't be. Personally, I felt that cliques were just really stressful. They can easily turn into groups of mean people in the blink of an eye, and trust me, you don't want to be associated with mean people. Usually, the "leaders" in the group make it so that the opinions other than their own aren't relevant in the slightest. This could lead the group into feeling more weak-willed and conforming into what their "leader" wants of them.

Cliques can easily turn into a group of mean people if you aren't careful. I remember in my junior year of high school, I was associated with a clique. Everything started off fine until my friends at the time just started conforming. I'm still not sure what triggered it. We turned into the kind of girls that would walk together like we owned the place (we really didn't). Also they started acting mean to other people outside the group. I got tired of the vibes they were giving off, so I ended up disassociating myself with them. Later on, I made new friends, and ended up learning that those new friends used to think I was a mean person just because of the clique I associated with. Bad people can give off bad impressions of you if you aren't careful.

I never understood why a group of friends would need a "leader." I mean, if you're hanging out with friends, usually you want to feel calm and at peace with everyone you're hanging out with. Notice that I put quotes around the word, leader. I do that because usually those people aren't formally appointed as "leader." Usually it's a self-given title that ends up resonating with the group due to their attitudes. I was in another clique in high school that had a couple "leaders," and I'll admit, it was a lot of fun at first, but it got really cliquey really fast. No one in the group could have a mind of their own. Usually, if someone in the group had a different opinion from the "leader," an argument would start. It almost felt like no one could be their true selves around each other. Let's just say, that got really old, really fast.

I'm not saying all cliques are like this, but a lot are. Some people have their reasons for more tight-knit groups, for example, shyness. That's perfectly fine! There's a problem when the people in the group start acting mean and exclusive to others though. So to the people who aren't in cliques, or any friend group for that matter, it's okay! By the end of high school, I wasn't in a specific group of people. I had my separate friends in separate groups and it was fun. That's how things are to this day, and I couldn't be happier. So don't be insecure, just be yourself, and usually the best type of friends will come naturally. You don't need a group of people for acceptance. The best kind of acceptance is the one you give yourself.