At this point, I’ve written countless articles and essays about what I’ve been taught in college. I’m only in my second semester as a freshman, but I’ve already accumulated an immense amount of new knowledge. And I’m proud of that. I’m proud that I feel myself becoming more educated with each passing day, but I’ve recently become painfully aware that I have been focusing so much on my classroom education that I’ve been unaware of how I’m changing.
That is, until now.
Perhaps changing isn’t the correct word to use in my situation. Rather, I feel that I am bettering myself every moment. I am finding out things about myself I had never known existed. I am maturing and I’m certainly okay with that.
For starters, college has made me realize just how independent I really am and just how much I love being that way. I enjoy being in charge of myself and being the only person I can blame when I forget an assignment or stay up too late. I love doing my own grocery shopping, getting my own mail from the mail room, making my own dinner and running on my own schedule. I wasn’t responsible for any of this last year.
Sort of going along with independence is my newfound love for solitude. I value my alone time at college so much more than I did back home. This is mainly due to the fact that in my high school years I had probably too much time alone. School hours aside, I often went home to an empty house due to the fact that my mom worked way past the time I got out of classes. And I really hated that loneliness–so much so that I would find every possible way to be around people, whether it was staying after school or going to my neighbor’s house. Now that I live with two people and am constantly surrounded by others, I long for moments when I can just sit in a coffee shop on campus and be alone (just like I am doing right now).
Being in college has also made me realize how much I loved having a job. I was a bit overwhelmed starting off college back in September, and therefore, decided to take it easy by not working during my first year. I think I made the right decision in doing so, but a large part of me misses the responsibility that came with being employed. I miss making my own money and not feeling guilty when I splurged a bit. Honestly, my first job sucked, but looking back on it now I am actually really grateful that I had that. Part of me even misses it a bit. This being said, I can’t wait for the summer when I will be working again.
Sports. I cannot explain how much college has made me miss playing sports. I miss being a part of a team and playing soccer every day. I miss grabbing chipotle afterwards, because we deserved it after how much running we had done. I miss the feeling of scoring a goal, of winning a game. I had always known that I would enter college to focus on my academics and that I would eventually push sports to the side, but I did not think it would make me feel so different. Now, I take every chance I can get to go outside and kick around a soccer ball. Though it’s not the same, it’s probably the closest I’ll ever get again to that feeling I used to get on the turf field.
College has also made me realize how much I adore meeting new people. I know for a fact I will never grow tired of seeing my friends from back home, but meeting new ones is such a cool experience. It’s like having a fresh start with every new face you see. They don’t know your history, what you’ve done or what you’ve been through. It’s such a relieving feeling coming to a new place and knowing that you’re carrying any baggage with you.
Though it is probably the most difficult to deal with, college has made me aware of how much I love and miss the people I left behind. Every day I find myself thinking of someone back home–a family member, a pet, a friend, a neighbor, an old teacher, an old classmate–and realizing just how much I miss them. Going away for school is so bittersweet because while you’re here, experiencing new things and meeting new people, you can’t help but sometimes wish you could just go home to the familiarity you left (unless that’s just me). Thankfully, most of the people I catch myself missing have not been left behind for good. But I did leave behind seeing them on a regular basis and the comfort that came along with that and sometimes that really saddens me.
Most importantly, being in college has made me realize how excited I am for my future. Only a few months into college and I already feel like I am on the right path. It’s incredibly daunting and exciting to know how close I am to graduating and becoming a teacher and basically beginning the rest of my life. I don’t intend to rush my years in college, but I am comfortable knowing that when my final days as a student do roll around, I won’t be frightened at all.
