I love pictures of famous artists in the studio. Everyone looks super happy.
There are about forty people crowding around the board, and they are almost always drinking.
This is the first thing I'd like to tackle. People.
There are never that many people in a studio unless its some sort of listening party. I've had some sessions where if there are more than 3 people in the booth, the recording engineer will tell them to leave so they can do their job.
Imagine people just hanging out in your cubicle. You would get nothing done. This is the same for engineers.
They need to be able to hear and keep track of what they have recorded.They don't want to hear about your weird run in with B-list celebrities.
Next, drinks.
Not just alcohol, any drinks.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT GEAR YOU'RE LEANING ON COSTS?
Me either, but its probably a lot. And I know you don't have enough to pay for it. Mostly because it's not made anymore.
So if you break it, you literally can't buy it. Which I would say is bad. So just don't touch it.
Or don't be there... yeah. Don't be there.
Also alcohol. Just no.
Alcohol in the studio is super dumb. First it has a strong effect on the vocal chords as alcohol dehydrates you, making your voice sound like this.
Alcohol also makes you act like an idiot.
No, you don't look cool with a lamp shade on your head, especially when studio time costs hundreds of dollars an hour.
Next lets look at the 'look we wrote a song in the studio!' B.S.
Do you know what it is called when a band writes a song in the studio? A bad band.
They earned money, bought and booked studio time, got an engineer, maybe even hired a producer, and then when they showed up to record, they had no song.
THAT IS SO MUCH MONEY WASTED!
I mean it is probably the best day for the staff as they get paid to do nothing, but I'm sure they have better things to do.
It is also different when you own the studio or are collaborating with another artist. Sometimes the magic happens for about two seconds and having mics there to record it are important.
Also when you own the studio, you can waste time. Because it is your time.
Lets also talk about the fact that every movie that has someone singing in a studio, they have one take and move on.
This is so false.
Even when the first take is perfect, the engineer will get several takes to ensure that they have everything they need to piece together a song.
Also there is so much work that goes into a song during post production.
My last band recorded an album in two, twelve hour sessions. That album spent over a month in post-production, tweaking everything.
Pitch correction isn't just for voices y’all.
(Did I just say y’all? really? I mean I am from a rural county but my inner voice is definitely from Boston or some other north east town. Big city for sure, but still down to earth you know? Is Boston down to earth? I've never been there. I think It would be cool.)
Sorry about that.
Instruments get "Auto-Tune" (a terrible word because its not automatic, it takes hours of work to sound natural) all the time!
Deep down, I know that for movies and marketing, you want to make sure that everyone looks like they love it.
The reality is, it can be boring, and stressful, and awful, and scary, and YES! It can be fun, and interesting, and super awesome.
Mos of the time? It's just another Tuesday.
