What It's Like To Fall For Your Best Friend

What It's Like To Fall For Your Best Friend

And to have them feel the same

It kind of feels like that scene from Kim Possible. You know, where she and Ron Stoppable finally get together at the prom and everyone was so happy? Everyone saw it coming, but them. There was that connection they both chose to deny but in the end, they found each other. I always wanted that feeling, that fairy-tale-happy-ending where they’re not only my lover, but my best friend. And I think I’m finally getting that after the seven years of waiting. (It’s been seven years since Kim Possible ended. Crazy, right?)

This whole dating my best friend thing is really new to me. I’ve been friends with this person for a while and when we first met, we tried being a thing. But that didn’t work at all. We rushed into it, without really knowing anything about each other. So, after I stopped being salty over the failing of whatever we were, our friendship grew and we became inseparable. We got to know each other so well to the point where I could tell you the way he takes his coffee or his order at each and every fast food restaurant. I could tell you all his little quirks and what grosses him out. I could tell you the name of all his family members and all his pets’ names and how long he’s had them for. And we’ve gone through a lot, together and separately. I watched him get his heart broken and stuck by his side. And he did the same for me. He was there for me with any issue I ever faced and he always gave me the best advice. He was my shoulder to cry on, my protector, my partner-in-crime. I always valued him but I never realized just how much.

And all of a sudden, after a year of being best friends, we simultaneously realized that hey, maybe we do like each other. And we realized just how idiotic we were for not realizing it sooner. Every one else could see it and predicted it before us. Even his family had asked a while back if we were together. Our other best friend (we’re kind of like the Wolfpack or the Three Musketeers. Or probably more like the Three Stooges) knew it before us and was not at all surprised when we told her last week. And maybe we knew it all along but were in denial. I mean, they always say not to date your best friend because you risk losing the friendship. And also, we were so close. We’d bicker like an old married couple and would get on each other’s nerves a lot. We pretended to hate each other a lot too. But we never really did.

And I guess the reason why I’d bicker with him, or pretend to hate him, was because I always liked him. I guess I always knew there was something between us and I tried to convince myself for the longest time that I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was in my own head because I know sometimes I have a hard time differentiating between platonic and romantic feelings anyway. But when he told me he liked me, and wanted to be with me, God it felt amazing to finally hear that. I realized at that moment that that was what I had wanted all along.

Everything just came so naturally from there on out. The thought of us didn’t seem so scary, it felt kind of right. And me, someone who has terrible commitment issues, was even beginning to think long term. He treated me well and I already trusted him with my life. And he trusted me too. I was ready for something happy and healthy because I deserve it. I deserve to be with him. And he deserves this too.
What I was scared of was losing the friendship because we already had such a close bond. And I don’t even mean it in the sense of if we break up. I mean it in the sense of if we date, I don’t want it to just be all mushy and lovey-dovey and coupley. I don’t want to just be boyfriend and girlfriend. I want to be best friends, but maybe with some benefits. And deeply rooted feelings. Okay so maybe not just friends. But you get the point. Every time in the past we had ever thought about being together, he’d remind me, “I like what we are. I don’t want to lose what we have now”. But once I went away to school, we both had some distance between us and we both had time to think. And I think we both realize now that though everything is about to change, it also really isn’t. We’re still the same two people. We still pick on each other and call each other out on things and can have normal conversations. We put our friendship above all else because we know that that’s the foundation of every good relationship. We don’t need to play any guessing games or start from scratch. We aren’t about to throw away the year of friendship and all we’ve built up, we’re just going to expand on it.

I can honestly say that he makes me so incredibly happy, just as he always has, but just even more. I trust him with every ounce of my being. He makes me laugh and he makes me smile and he makes me feel safe and loved and worthwhile. He makes me feel incredible not only as a lover, but as a friend.

I can’t wait to see where this takes us. We’ve been on so many adventures and been through so much together. But honestly, out of all the crazy, stupid, and reckless things we’ve ever done together, this is the one I look forward to most. I can’t wait to experience life with my best friend by my side. And, I guess my boyfriend too.

I have one suggestion; date your best friend. Take that risk because it might just be the best decision you will ever make. And I really think this might just be that for me.

I’m so excited to finally have my Kim Possible moment. I can’t wait to fall in love with my best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Kim Possible Wiki

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10 Struggles Girls Taller Than 5'7" Feel On A Spiritual Level

3. "Do you date guys that are shorter than you?"

Any girl who is at least 5'8" will understand these struggles and possibly identify with them on a spiritual level.

1. Dresses not being long enough

Finding dresses for any occasion that will be long enough is like searching for rain in a drought. And when you find one, it's bound to either cost $$$ or not fit another aspect of your body.

2. Heck, pants are never long enough either

You are constantly flooding, or else you rolled up your jeans to look like capris. Unless you special ordered some jeans online in the coveted size LONG or EXTRA LONG, this will forever be your fate.

3. "Do you date guys that are shorter than you?"

This is a personal preference people! Don't assume that a girl will or will not date someone just based on their height difference! Also, don't judge if they aren't interested in someone who is shorter than them!

4. Not wearing heels because you don't enjoy being the skyscraper of the friend group

Wearing heels can be fun buuuuuuuut sometimes towering over everyone else is not our idea of fun.

5. It's hard to find cute shoes that actually fit

You would love to have all those cute little shoes in the clearance section, but most of them barely cover your big toe.

6. Everyone thinks you walk too fast

Short-legged people just can't keep up with you, even though you aren't even walking fast. Like at all.

7. People want to jump on your back

Just because you're tall doesn't give them the license to make you into their personal camel.

8. Never being able to cross your legs underneath desks and tables

You. Can. Not. Get. Comfortable.

9. Awkward hugs

Some people will never understand.

10. Never knowing how to pose in pictures

Should you sorority squat? Pop the hip? Bend the leg? Contort your body to feel like a normal sized human? So hard to decide.

Cover Image Credit: Olivia Willoughby

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The Shape Of The Monster: Depression

The second piece in a series about mental illness.


The last thing I want to do is glorify mental illness, give it a platform, give it a name. But I need to talk about it, to work through it, to show that it's something many people experience.

It goes like this.

Hey! Sorry I haven't called you back. Everything has been so busy.

Every time I think about even picking up the phone and calling you, something heavy but familiar sets in my stomach like a weight.

You know how things get.

You know how easy it is to want to slip into absolute nothingness, right?

I've been trying to write, but my writer's block has been limiting me a lot.

Everything I write is so bad. The flow is off. It doesn't sound like me. It feels so crooked and wrong. I can't do anything right.

How are things? Has work been alright?

I hope you feel successful. I hope things are easier for you. I hope you are as happy as you seem.

I'm okay.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. I feel crooked and wrong like I just want to scream and cry and dissolve.

I've just been so tired!

I have been tired for at least a decade. Tired of never sleeping. Tired of never feeling anything more than either absolute devastation and absolute nothingness. Tired. Tired. Tired.

I hope I can see you soon.

I hope I can bring myself to get out of bed and out into the world. I hope I can force myself to shower, and get dressed, and be a contributor to society, to social obligations.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I love you.

I love you.

I promise to call as soon as things lighten up a bit.

As long as the chemical imbalance doesn't destroy me altogether, hopefully, I can feign vague interest for a short phone call.


Goodbye for now, maybe goodbye forever, maybe I'll work up the courage to call you in another 2, 5, 7 weeks or so. My life is made of "maybes." Maybe one-day things will be better. Maybe one day I'll be happy. Maybe one day I won't be anything. Maybe.

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