It’s not great. Your family and friends make fun of you literally all the time. And if you’re like me, then you feel really insecure about it and hate even trying to make plans to eat with people.

There have been moments in my life, especially as a grocery store cashier, where I have seen something that looked really good, but I knew that my taste buds would probably hate it if I ever decided to try it. And it’s happened before that I do decide to try something new and I knew I wouldn’t like it. Well, of course, I turned out to be right.

This is different than having an allergy, of course. When you’re allergic to something, you physically can’t eat it, or at least shouldn’t. Being a picky eater is frowned upon and people tease you for your eating habits and how you might eat something. Oftentimes when I’m reminded that I’m a picky eater (which is just about every meal), I feel bad about it, and I feel like there’s something wrong with me. It’s not that I can’t eat the things I don’t like; it’s that I just don’t like how they taste or what the texture is like.

And that’s another thing. Sometimes it’s not even the taste of something. Occasionally it’s the texture that I can’t stand, which often seems to be the case when it comes to fruits that I personally don’t like.

Being a picky eater can be one’s own personal hell. It’s mine at least. I’m afraid to try new things only because I’m absolutely sure I’m not going to like it. The odd thing is that I don’t necessarily feel that way when it comes to desserts, and maybe that’s why I’ve got so much fat on my body.

I want to be healthier. Really, I do. But it seems almost impossible with the way my eating habits are now, and especially since I feel that friends and family might still make fun of what I’m eating and maybe even how I’m eating as they have in the past. It’s almost one of those things where if I were to live in my own apartment by myself I’d feel comfortable doing, but with people constantly around me I become very anxious about it.

Occasionally, friends or family might say, “Oh, you might like this.” And they’ll offer me some sort of snack or a bite of their food, and depending on what it is, I might politely decline. Sometimes when someone thinks I might like something I’ve never tried before, it brings on my insecurity and anxiety about being a picky eater.

Within the past year or so, my Grandma made a very good point about my picky eating habits. She has noticed that although I’m a picky eater, I don’t complain about it. Never have I seen a reason to complain about it, other than to bring about more of the ridicule that I try my hardest to avoid.

If I could change one thing about myself, it would be to not be a picky eater. It brings on a lot of stress and anxiety and insecurity along with it, which would be a big weight off of my shoulders. Family and friends have to plan meals around my eating habits, and I don’t like to be the one to make things hard like that. I would like to enjoy more and different kinds of foods, and maybe it would even encourage me to be healthier, not just in my eating habits, but also with my daily life.

To those of you who aren’t picky eaters, consider yourself lucky. You don’t have to worry so much about what you’re eating, though if you have a friend like me, you may have to worry about finding a place to eat where everyone can find something they’ll enjoy. Please just be patient with us picky eaters. I promise we have our reasons.