Some people are extroverts and some people pretend to be really well; I am solidly the latter. I tend to make friends with extroverts because if you come up to me I'm happy to have a conversation with you, but if you think I'm the girl at the party that's going to be complementing all the strangers and getting random Snapchats… think again. To be honest, the concept of a frat party is essentially my worst nightmare. Most people, even my best friends, are surprised to find that out because I have gotten really good at faking it and I just copy what “That Girl” does.
You know who I’m talking about, everyone knows “That Girl.” She's normally beautiful, super involved in everything. “That Girl” knows everyone and goes to parties every weekend. She is the reason you know that if enough people watch your Snapchat story they stop showing you all the names (weird right). Most importantly “That Girl” is my best friend.
“That Girl” is the person that I always seem to gravitate toward because even though I'm shy I like to be surrounded by people. I hate strangers but if you know my best friend are you really stranger? I have been friends with “That Girl” since high school. I knew a lot of people through her and that was it.
When I got to college she was there; we even lived in the same building so…. the same thing happened: my friends were mostly attached to her but I didn't really spend any time with them away from her.
Still, college was a little bit different. I'm in a very close major where everyone spends all their time together so we all are forced to at least tolerate each other. Though the person I spent most of my time with was still “That Girl” from my home town.
I branched out a little deeper into the year but then I met another “That Girl” who seemed to know even more people. As I got to know her I adopted even more people that I sort of knew but outside of my friends from architecture I didn't have close relationships outside of the 'blob' formed whenever I went to parties with “That Girl”. When she wasn't around I didn't really know what to do with myself, so I just sat in my room and hid from society.
There came a point where I wasn't talking to either “That Girl” (shocker teenage girls fight) and I didn't know what to do with myself at first. “That Girl” is always great until you don't talk to her anymore and you feel like you don’t have any friends. I was always happy being by myself until it was not optional anymore.
I started to feel really alone, and most people don't know that I'm shy, they just assume that I'm a bitch and move on with their days. I felt totally lost and at that time and I stopped reaching out even to the people that were already my friends.
These really great people noticed that I was pulling back and refused to let me. I talk to them about school and life and the fact that my coughing keeps them up at night (hey Holly!!) and they helped me to realize that you don't need to be a part of a huge stampede of people.
“That Girl” is great, she can help you to break you boundaries; she needs just as much attention as I do which is good because no one else is equipped to spend quite that much time talking to me. “That Girl” is still the person I go to with all my issues (both of them) and I love them for being there for me through the shit storm which we have affectionately named adolescence. But “That Girl” does not have to be your only source of friends.
Yes, I share almost everything with her but I also have other people in my life that are permanent, that are mine. They aren't just extensions of the one close relationship that I was willing to create, they are close relationships. At the end of the day I don't need to ask “That Girl” what she's doing if I want to do something, but I still always have the option and that is why I love being friends with her.
People can surprise you, “That Girl” may be more like you than you think. I have learned that the idea of her is just that, an idea. People have come up to me at parties and asked me how I knew EVERYONE there and the answer is always “I’m friends with “That Girl.” At the end of the day I realized that everyone is a little bit of “That Girl” and no one knows how the rest of the world sees them.
When I talk to That Girl about any of this she is always genuinely surprised that people see her that way and that I see myself as shy.
