I'm not categorically shy by any means. I'm the friend who isn't afraid to tell you if your hair needs some help, the girlfriend who will sure as hell voice her opinion and the employee who isn't afraid to ask questions. Being social is something that has always been naturally easy for me, and I have serious FOMO when an emerging conflict prevents me from doing so. Meeting new people is a time that I genuinely look forward to, because I believe that observing and acknowledging different perspectives and backgrounds is important for personal growth. I can talk for hours, especially when I'm passionate about what's on my mind.
On the flip side, I need to have my alone time. It doesn't mean that I don't want to go get dinner or hang out with you. That's not the case at all, actually. Being alone for even just an hour every day is something that has always been necessary for me, and I need it in order to feel like myself and collect my thoughts from time to time. Writing, reading, listening to music, etc. -- whatever I'm doing doesn't matter, so long as I get some alone time. In a sense, it's like I'm living inside of my own head for a lot of the time.
There are days where I'll crave attention and social interactions. I'll be loud, I'll make some jokes and I'll (more often than not) feel like the life of the party. On the contrary, there will also be many days where I won't want to see many people or interact much. Isolating myself and being alone for a bit seems just as satisfying as any party on days like these.
I'm the girl who loves to party, but I'm also the girl who needs to be by herself. I'll talk forever, but I'm also extremely introspective. Even though I most definitely pay attention to the outside world, I pay the same amount (if not more) of attention to what's going on in my own head. If I don't answer your phone call or get back to you right away, it's not your fault. I will absolutely get back to you -- it just might not always be immediately.
Being an extroverted introvert can be complicated, to say the least. If you need something, I'll be there for you. But at the same time, I need you to understand that I need space. It's not your fault, I can promise you that. You could be my favorite person on the planet, but if I don't want to talk to anyone, that includes you, too. That's just how I am, and I can assure you that that's how I'm always going to be.
My personality type often poses as a problem, especially when it comes at inopportune times. If I cater to my extroverted side too often, then I neglect my internal introvert and become anxious and uneasy. I'm not anti-social, but I have a tendency to be 100 percent selectively social, depending on the situation.
I'm not going to apologize for my personality type, because that's the way that I always have been and I always will be. If you only want to stick around to be with my outgoing side, our friendship probably won't last long if you ignore my introverted qualities, too. For as much as I'm talking, there's a good chance that I'm simultaneously just as involved in my own head, too. Whether you're an extroverted introvert, introverted extrovert or whatever -- we all process the world differently, and there's not a single thing wrong about that.
