In this day and age, I find real and true romance to be something fictional and strictly made for movies and books. It’s really hard to find something deep and passionate that doesn’t involve pettiness and unnecessary drama. Sometimes I think it is just me and MAYBE I set my standards a little too high... but seriously, the writers of these escapades of intense romance and love MUST come from somewhere, right? Being the “hopeless romantic” type is rather difficult in the 21st century. You sort of have these high expectations for things that aren’t really there. You want the dozens of roses delivered to your doorstep. You DESIRE the perfect and romantic dates you and your lover would (hope) to go on. And most importantly you STRIVE to be the one riding off into the sunset with the man or woman of your dreams; just like a Disney movie. Or, quite literally, like Danny and Sandy at the ending of Grease.
But in this harsh reality…does a fairytale romance still exist? Did it ever exist?
The answer is somewhere among the stars. There is the possibility of it, but with all the hustle and bustle of today, romance seems something that’s already in the next galaxy. I like to compare the belief in true love to the belief in aliens. There’s evidence and there are plenty of hypotheses, but where is the long term, hard proof? Sure generations before us could surely speak for that but today that just doesn’t happen. For us hopeless romantics, we are the crazy scientists of love. We nitpick and want things exactly how we think it’s meant to be… and when we don’t get what we want, it’s like our worlds are turned upside down. We start to believe we are destined to be alone forever, and that’s where the “hopeless” part comes in.
For me, I have been a hopeless romantic probably earlier than I could probably even remember. Thus, my personal experience dating has been extremely difficult. I start talking to a guy, we share some great times together and all they end up wanting out of the experience is sex. Meanwhile, I had wanted to pursue something on a deeper level emotionally. Eventually, they find someone new that just wants to hook-up, and basically forget our “quasi-relationship fling thing” ever existed…and while they move on with ease, I’m hung up on them for the next month and blaming it on myself. The problem we face with this “dating” scene (if you even could call it that) is that people are TERRIFIED of commitment and settling down. But as hopeless romantics, that’s all we could ever want. Sure, we have all of these dating apps that are made to find the “right companion”. But to what extent do these apps and websites actually work as far as people meeting and developing something REAL and LEGITIMATE and not just a one-time thing? From what I have seen, all they produce are random hookups.
After one heartbreak after another and a whole LOT of “it’s not you it’s me” bullshit, a “hopeless romantic” would begin to settle for anything we could get our hands on (literally) . We start making compromises of what we truly want and deserve SOLEY to be with someone, and we definitely do not put ourselves first. Once that fiasco phase is over and done with, we usually start with this whole “I don’t need anyone” phase. This usually is a fine stance for a while, until we find ourselves watching The Notebook or Cinderella with our pint of Ben and Jerry’s once again. For us hopeless romantics, it definitely is a damn near “hopeless” cycle that somehow will fix itself in time.
So to all my fellow HR’s out there, keep believing and set your bars high. More importantly, DO NOT let yourself get caught up in this hookup culture we live in. Just because you haven’t found it yet, doesn’t mean it’s non-existent (similar to my alien example above).
True love is out there as it is in the movies we cry and laugh over and the books we swoon over as we turn each page, I promise.
