Growing up, I remember going over to my cousin's house where all of my extended family would gather for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. There would easily be twenty five or more people at the house and it was just one big party. My second cousin is about eight years older than me and she is married to a firefighter. I just remembered thinking to myself, "No way could I date or marry a firefighter. That's way too scary and dangerous. I don't want that stress in my life"
Well, five years later I find myself dating a firefighter and understanding my cousin's point of view. It is a hard profession, no doubt. His department is 24/48, meaning he works 24 hours and is off 48 hours. While it may sound awesome to only work every third day, it's really recovery time. In the 24 hours that he's working, he does training, works out, chores, and studies. Along with all of those duties, he also gets called at any time of the day or night for fires, medical calls, and emergencies, even fire alarms that malfunction at 2:00am.
These are things I have to remember when he's off work and we have the next two days together. While I may have gotten great sleep and am ready for an adventure-filled day, he can come home and be so drained not wanting to do anything but catch up on sleep. At first I found it pretty disappointing. In my head, I thought since we only had a couple days together he'd want to spend all his time with me. At the time we were long distance making our time together feel even more pressed, so when he would come home and just want to relax all day, I was pretty disappointed. But, when I really looked at his schedule and everything he does, I began to understand the rest he needed and not to stop putting unfair pressures on him just because I wanted to spend time with him.
I also realized he needed more support from me. He could feel my disappointment and would try to trudge through his tiredness to make me happy, but he would spread himself too thin and not be the best firefighter he could be because he was being the best boyfriend he could be. It's all about communicating and supporting each other. I have also learned that praying is so powerful especially when he's on the job. Any worries or anxieties about his safety is turned over to God and is in His hands. So, if you ever find yourself dating or marrying a firefighter, remember: pray for them, support them, and communicate your expectations to them because without these things, there will be unnecessary stress and disappointment.
