Especially as I started to get older and grow in my faith, it became clear to me that being a practicing Catholic would be something that impacted the way that people viewed me. As someone who is proud of my faith, I am pleased by the thought that God is a component of my identity. However, despite my pride, I sometimes feel that my religion causes people to jump to conclusions about me that are not necessarily accurate. Generally, I don’t like generalizations. Not when they are applied toward other people and not when they are applied toward me. I can sometimes sense when people’s opinions of me change when they find out that about my faith. And the tricky thing about Catholicism is that it attracts a lot of different opinions. Basically, what I’m saying is that whoever the “stereotypical Catholic girl” is to you, I’m not her.

First things first, I would like to establish—I am not against homosexuality! In fact, I consider myself to be very open-minded and I like to abide by the concept of “to each his own.” “Anti-gay” and the Catholic church are two things that seem to always be connected and I find it incredibly unfair. Catholics don’t hate gays. We should love everybody…God told us to! This is not limited to just the gay community either; personally, I feel my faith has made me more loving and accepting of all people.

In contrast to this negative connotation of Catholicism, I also find myself the recipient of praise due to my religion. My principle objection to this is that I don’t want people to think that I’m a nice person because they know I’m religious; I want them to think I’m a nice person because they think that I’m a nice person. My goal is to live in a way that embodies Jesus—and, although I frequently fall short of achieving this, I’d love if that could be felt by people without them having to know how much effort I put into my relationship with Him. If you ask me, giving up one hour every week for church is easy. Applying the virtues that I learn there to make the right decision in everyday life? Now, that’s tough. If I am able to accomplish this at all, that (if anything) is what deserves recognition.

Another judgment I receive is that it is easy for me to have a relationship with God, so I don’t understand the struggles that others face in this area. I usually get this vibe from my friends when I encourage them to go to mass or something of the sort. I make the suggestion just so that it is presented to them as an option, but I understand if they say no—no explanation necessary. However, I am burdened by the thought that I would make anyone feel judged for not being spiritual or for believing in something different than I do. From a religious standpoint, God is responsible for the judgment of human beings—who am I to play God? Plus, I understand that having a relationship with God can be very difficult at times. I frequently get caught up in other things and find myself dismissing God. While I was raised in a devout Catholic household, I still have these difficulties. So, I get it! I was taught how to love God my whole life and I still have trouble. Of course people question God and their faith—you’re supposed to do that! Otherwise how will you know what you believe? The journey of spiritual discovery is confusing and difficult as it is, there is no need to add the unnecessary obstacle of human judgment along the way.

Finally, I’m not afraid of being banished from the church for living a normal life. We don’t need to spend all day reading scripture and praying the rosary to make Him proud. I do normal things and go to normal places. Guess what? God is everywhere. The church may be a great place for me to find him if I’m struggling, but it is not the only place. God can be found walking to class or studying or running or at a party. Yes, a party! Catholics can have fun, too! Everyone’s relationship with God is different and if I can feel God’s presence while I read a book or meet new people, then, by golly, that’s what I’ll do!

I love God more than anything and I am certainly not ashamed to admit that (the contrary, in fact). However, I would like to not be subject to the traditional cutout of a church girl because, as I said, that’s just not me. Actually, it’s not anybody. Just because I belong to the church does not mean that I represent it or, even, that it represents me. If I make a mistake, it doesn’t mean that Catholics are a group of judgmental hypocrites—it just means that I’m a sinner. Everyone, whether they go to church or not, is going to sin. But God loves us anyway and He has his own unique relationship with each of us. This reasoning, in addition to the inaccuracy of stereotyping, is why it is unfair to put people into a “Catholic box” to define who they should be.