Sexual assault. It’s not a subject that a lot of people like to talk about. It’s not something you can sit down and have a conversation about with your family at the dinner table, or even with your closest friend, for that matter. In today’s society and culture, we like to pretend that it doesn’t exist, or that it doesn’t happen. But the truth is: it does happen. And it happens every single day, probably a lot closer to home than you imagine it does.

Growing up, we were always taught about “stranger danger,” and to always be aware of our surroundings. In middle school health class, we started learning about date rape drugs, the risks women take when they consume too much alcohol, the hazards in walking alone at night and the dangers of letting that cute guy walk you just up the stairs to your apartment building to say goodnight. We learned all of these tactics and methods to “prevent” this terrifying and scarring situation, but somehow, sexual assault still occurs. Everywhere and anywhere. Some things don’t always go as we would have liked them to or as we had planned, and sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we are vulnerable and have no control over what happens.

If you are a victim of sexual assault and if you are anything like me, whether it happened five years ago or yesterday, you’re angry, you’re confused and you feel like you are in ruins. The moment it was over was when your world began to crumble all around you. Because no matter what kind of safety precautions you took that night (or day), it still happened, with no warning. No matter how safe you thought you were being, the ugly truth is that for some people, there are no lines to be crossed. To these people, boundaries are nonexistent, and so is your right to your body and your right to say "no." And because of this person, you were left scared, damaged and alone.

Being a victim of sexual assault is exhausting on the entire body and mind. You feel constantly nervous for yourself and for others. The depression comes in waves, as if you are reliving the assault over and over again. It is the feeling of being trapped; the feeling of not being able to escape an image that repeatedly plays through your mind like a broken record. Social situations are undesirable, at the very best. You try to be forgiving, and believe that the world is still good with only a select few that are bad; but some days, you find it hard to trust anybody, even your closest friends. Some days, you feel like you are living in a nightmare that you cannot wake up from.

So, what now? Why am I writing about this? We learned a million and one ways to prevent sexual assault, but we never learned what to do if it actually happened. I am opening up about my experience because even though sometimes it makes me feel safer to just push the memory to the back of my mind, it is important, and it needs to be talked about so that my mind, my body, and my heart can start to heal. I want you to know that no matter who you are or what you’ve done, nobody in the entire world deserved or deserves the right to take what they took from you. You are precious, and you are loved. Your body is a temple and it belongs to you and only you. I also want you to know that you don’t owe an explanation to anybody. I know why you cower at the touch of others; I know why you prefer to stay in rather than go out with the girls; I know why you need your space to breathe when you start to feel overwhelmed; I know why you cling so tightly to the people that you sincerely trust, because those people are your source of sanity. I know why you have those bad days where all you want is to be alone and cry. I know all of these things. The scariest feeling in the world is feeling like you do not belong to yourself.

But the good news is: you are beautifully and wonderfully made. And once you learn, accept, and truly believe it, not a soul in the universe can alter that mindset. And nobody possesses the power to bring you back down to the dark place that you are currently in. I am writing to tell you that you did not lose a piece of yourself when you were assaulted, and it was not your fault. I know it feels that way, because I just recently realized differently myself: You did not lose a piece of yourself, and it was not your fault. You may feel broken, but you are not missing. You just need some time to be put back together.

Sexual assault is like a torrential downpour: unexpected, uncontrolled and inexplicable. But the effects of an assault is like the fog that comes after the rain: the thoughts weigh heavy on your mind until they start to obstruct your view and make it hard to see what’s ahead. Do not let the fog distract you from the beautiful rainbow that is soon to come from all of the rain. You have made it through the hardest part. And now is the time to begin the healing process.