I’ve touched on my invisible diseases before, but since it is Epilepsy Awareness Month I thought I would go a bit more in-depth about my Epilepsy. While I have not had a Gram Maul Seizure in a little over three years it still makes me cautious. I do still have the Petite Maul Seizures, which are basically where stare off into space without being able to be brought out of it.

I’ve often compared having a seizure to a computer overloading and rebooting. In a sense, that is what happens with your brain, which is basically a giant Biological Computer. I know I am oversimplifying it both spiritually and scientifically. It is just the easiest way for most people to understand it when I explain it to them.

I still feel like I have to be on my guard, and constantly aware of how I am feeling even to this day to avoid the possibility of a major seizure. Though it is not as bad as it used to be, and I am more relaxed than I once was. It still makes me aware of how I am different, though.

I am also constantly aware of how I must be coconscious of how much screen time I am having as well as if I am feeling off while looking at screens. Along with what lighting I am being exposed to as well as if it is making me feel unusual. Add to that having to be cautious when trying new foods along with what I drink. It sometimes feels like a chore and can get frustrating.

It’s on those days I am reminded of all the friends and family who support me as well as all the good things I have going for me despite the limitations I have. Along with the gifts I have even with the challenges I face. When I look at the positives in my life it helps me face the challenges I have to go through with Epilepsy. I’m not saying it works for everyone, I’ve seen a friend get upset when faced with Epilepsy, but I didn’t let him go through it alone.

I have found that being there for someone including myself dealing with this illness is a big help. Trust me waking up from a seizure and seeing a friendly face helps a great deal. Especially, when you don’t know what happened, and you are not where you last remember being. It can be pretty scary and having someone you know right there reassuring you is a great comfort. I have to thank my mom for being so courageous to sit with me in the emergency room so often as I come out of a seizure. She is really strong when it comes to dealing with my Epilepsy with me.

Although I am not fond of the fact that often when I wake up in the emergency room they tell me I am dehydrated, so I end up with an IV in me. Along with taking two bags of fluid. I also have to thank my friend, Tim, who has more than once witnessed me having a seizure. Instead of freaking out like some would he remains calm and calls 911, so that I get medical attention immediately in case anything goes wrong. Of course, that has led to some embarrassing moments that will remain as secret as can be.

My advice to anyone experience time loss or who has had a pass out spell and just wants to blow it off. Don’t. Call your doctor even as much as no one likes to go to the doctor and get checked out. If it’s nothing great you got checked out got your vitals checked and made sure you are healthy. If it is something at least you can address it before it could get worse. We all have friends and family that depend on us and it is up to us to take care of ourselves as best as we can for them as well as our own well-being.