'Haunting' Is The New Heartless Dating Trend That's Even Worse Than 'Ghosting'
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'Haunting' Is The New Heartless Dating Trend That's Even Worse Than 'Ghosting'

If you've ever been ghosted, don't worry, it gets worse.

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'Haunting' Is The New Heartless Dating Trend That's Even Worse Than 'Ghosting'
Tony Lam Hoang

We've all heard of ghosting. In fact, you're probably guilty of doing it. The act of "ghosting," or withdrawing communication with someone as a means to end a personal relationship, (thanks, Merriam-Webster) has become normalized in the age of hookup culture.

I'll admit it, I've done it before. Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there, and there's no need for long paragraphs explaining why. It's more convenient, especially if the relationship was casual. As long as things weren't too serious, no harm was done, right?

Well, if you've been personally victimized by being ghosted, it gets worse. And there's an official name for it: Haunting.

Haunting is like ghosting, but the person doesn't completely cut off contact.

This is that person who won't open your Snapchats and will ignore your texts, but they'll occasionally like one of your posts on Instagram or fave your tweets. This person doesn't want to be with you, but they want you to know they're still lurking just in case they change their mind.

Haunting is objectively worse than ghosting. With ghosting, all contact is cut off. They unfollow you on all social media platforms and may have gone as far as blocking your number. The message is received. When someone is haunting you, that message is not so clear.

The "haunter" (the person doing the haunting) is sending mixed signals which often ends up hurting the "haunted" (the person being haunted) more than ghosting would. Do they want to just be friends? Is there something I could do to make them want to come back?

Haunting is more likely to happen if the relationship was more serious. This isn't someone you hooked up with once and don't intend to see again. You can be haunted by friends and exes, which always hurts more.

As awful as haunting is, there is a clear solution to this problem: say something. It never hurts to ask, "What are we?" If you want to just be friends, say so. If the timing isn't working out, let me know. Be clear about your intentions.

If you don't get a real answer to your questions, or you feel this person is doing this to manipulate you, do the ghosting yourself. Like smudging a house with sage hit the block button on all of your platforms.

Take away this individuals ability to lurk and take back the control.

Social media has made dating way messier than it used to be, but it doesn't have to be this way. Don't keep your feelings to yourself. Trust me, it'll feel way better to have answers. And if they won't give you an answer, they aren't worth any more of your time.

This has been a PSA.

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First things first I do not agree with people getting so caught up in the specific theology of a song that they forget who they are singing the song to. I normally don't pay attention to negative things that people say about worship music, but the things that people were saying caught my attention. For example, that the song was not biblical and should not be sung in churches. Worship was created to glorify God, and not to argue over what kind of theology the artist used to write the song. I was not made aware of the controversy surrounding the popular song "Reckless Love" by Cory Asbury until about a week ago, but now that I am aware this is what I have concluded.The controversy surrounding the song is how the term reckless is used to describe God's love. This is the statement that Cory Asbury released after many people questioned his theology regarding his lyrics. I think that by trying to clarify what the song was saying he added to the confusion behind the controversy.This is what he had to say,
"Many have asked me for clarity on the phrase, "reckless love". Many have wondered why I'd use a "negative" word to describe God. I've taken some time to write out my thoughts here. I hope it brings answers to your questions. But more than that, I hope it brings you into an encounter with the wildness of His love.When I use the phrase, "the reckless love of God", I'm not saying that God Himself is reckless. I am, however, saying that the way He loves, is in many regards, quite so. What I mean is this: He is utterly unconcerned with the consequences of His actions with regards to His own safety, comfort, and well-being. His love isn't crafty or slick. It's not cunning or shrewd. In fact, all things considered, it's quite childlike, and might I even suggest, sometimes downright ridiculous. His love bankrupted heaven for you. His love doesn't consider Himself first. His love isn't selfish or self-serving. He doesn't wonder what He'll gain or lose by putting Himself out there. He simply gives Himself away on the off-chance that one of us might look back at Him and offer ourselves in return.His love leaves the ninety-nine to find the one every time."
Some people are arguing that song is biblical because it makes reference to the scripture from Matthew 28:12-14 and Luke 15. Both of these scriptures talk about the parable of the lost sheep and the shepherd. The shepherd symbolizes God and the lost sheep are people that do not have a relationship with God. On the other hand some people are arguing that using the term reckless, referring to God's character is heretical and not biblical. I found two articles that discuss the controversy about the song.The first article is called, "Reckless Love" By Cory Asbury - "Song Meaning, Review, and Worship Leading Tips." The writer of the article, Jake Gosselin argues that people are "Making a mountain out of a molehill" and that the argument is foolish. The second article, "God's Love is not Reckless, Contrary to What You Might Sing" by author Andrew Gabriel argues that using the term reckless is irresponsible and that you cannot separate Gods character traits from God himself. For example, saying that God's love is reckless could also be argued that God himself is reckless. Reckless is typically not a word that someone would use to describe God and his love for us. The term reckless is defined as (of a person or their actions) without thinking or caring about the consequences of an action. However, Cory Asbury is not talking about a person, he is talking about God's passionate and relentless pursuit of the lost. While I would not have chosen the word reckless, I understand what he was trying to communicate through the song. Down below I have linked two articles that might be helpful if you are interested in reading more about the controversy.


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