School abbreviation | sorority’s letters.
~~~Artsy~~~ pictures of you at parties are the majority of what you post. Probably lots of clever captions or locations that are inside jokes to your immediate friend group. No one else understands them, but assumes they are humorous because of your low-key bio.
A full description of everything you’ve ever done in your entire life.
ATL to DC to the BURG. (Plane emoji) Girlfriend. Best friend. Sister. (heart emoji) Doggy owner. (pawprint emoji) Club LAX. (tennis shoe emoji) Member of Delta Nu sorority. (sorority's symbol emoji) Gym rat. (fist emoji) Daughter of God. (prayer emoji) Biology major. (leaf emoji) University '16. (color block emoji) I don't even look at your pictures, I don't need to; I already know everything about your entire life!
Inspirational quote.
You know Marilyn Monroe didn’t actually say that, right? You probably spend lots of time on Pinterest looking up quotes for the captions to your photos. Yeah, I know your secret; nobody’s captions are that on point unless you have some assistance. You might even post a picture of a quote designating how you tend to “act like a lady but think like a boss.”
Only emojis.
You are probably adorable. Like, no, there is a 100 percent chance you are the cutest person I’ve ever met. Did you even arrange all of the emojis to be in a specific color scheme? Stop. I can’t even with your cuteness. Your pictures are probably all of you smiling and doing happy things with your sisters, and maybe even your GQ boyfriend who makes you even cuter. Cute cute cute.
Song lyrics.
You are basically subtweeting in your Instagram bio. You are hoping that your ex from two years ago will, for some reason, go on Instagram, find you, read your bio, think of you, and apologize for all the stupid things he did. Get off Instagram and stop being angsty. He's an idiot and won't apologize, we both know that.
No bio.
You are fascinating. Wait, you didn't even try? Or you tried but just eventually gave up? Or it was just too much work for you? Let me contemplate that while I scroll through all of your pictures from 43 weeks ago CRAP I just liked one. Unlike. But you still got the notification. I'm so sorry. I'm really not that creepy in real life.
