You ask me why I bother. Why I spend my life believing in something that could amount to nothing. Why I give up an hour and a half every Sunday to sit and listen to a guy who could be lying. Why I deprive myself of all the "fun things" just because a book tells me to. How I could be so sure of something that I permanently put it on my body. Why I would waste so much time studying something that makes no sense to half of the world.
And yes, I could go into all the vague answers to those questions. I could also cite the scientific answers if you'd rather. Or I could quote the historical evidence that supports my decision. But I won't. Because…
Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm spending my entire life believing in something that isn't true. Maybe all of this – all of my faith – will amount to nothing.
But here's the thing. Even if I die and there is no Heaven, and there is no God, and Jesus was just another prophet, my faith did not amount to nothing. If I wasted my whole life, at least I wasn't alone. Without my faith I would not have the friends I have, and I would not be the person I am.
Me without Jesus is a broken girl who has messed up too many times to ever be loved. Me without Jesus is just another person, going through the hell that is this life, with no hope for the future. Me without Jesus is lost and hurting. Me without Jesus would not be here.
So you ask me why I even bother…
Well, it's simple. I would much rather live my life with the reassurance that I am loved. To live my life knowing that I have a purpose, and that there is someone up in the sky who has a plan for me that is perfect. To live my life knowing that no matter what happens, I will be okay. To live my life with community and fellowship. To live my life with someone always behind me, before me, and beside me.
So, even if you're right, I'm glad I spent my life believing in Jesus. Because without Him, I can't promise that I would still be here today. And my life does not amount to nothing.