What-If: An Anxiety Story
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

What-If: An Anxiety Story

Anxiety on anxiety on anxiety.

74
What-If: An Anxiety Story
Elissa Shipp

The definition of anxiety, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary is as follows, "fear or nervousness about what might happen." It is this and so much more, but above all, it is questioning everything and always wondering what will happen next, even if it is beyond your control. On the bad days, everything seems to come into question. And even on the good days there are bad moments. So here I bring you to, "What-If: The Anxiety Story"

As I start every morning, I wake up to a stirring of questions and thoughts in my head that don't stop. Sometimes they slow down, but they are always there, nagging and nagging.

My mornings kind of go like this.

What-if.

What if today is awful. What-if I forget to bring my homework to class. Did I pack my homework for class? I should check my bag to see if I packed my homework for class. What-if I got all the answers wrong. Should I have checked it over again? I only checked over it twice so I could have missed a mistake. Did I remember to lock my door? I think I did. But did I? What-if it is unlocked and someone comes into my room? What if they take something? Okay, I know I locked it, but did I--or am I just imagining it??Wait, is my homework still in my bag? I remember seeing it but what if it fell out. No, it's okay keep walking to class, you know it is in there. And the questioning goes on, and on, and on......


My nights kind of go like this.

What-if.

Okay, homework is done. Did I do it right? I think I did because my friends and I talked about it and we had similar answers and thought process. But what if we made mistakes? I might fail this. Okay--stop thinking about that you won't fail. You need to go shower and get to bed. Should I keep studying? No, I need to go shower. Okay now I showered, time for bed. No I need to check my phone, what if someone needs me. No one messaged me, is everyone alright? They probably are they just didn't need anything. Or they aren't talking to me for a reason. Is there a reason? No silly, stop it's okay. Go to bed. Go to bed. Go to bed. Will my alarm go off in the morning? Duh--yes it will. Maybe I should set 2 more just in case. Okay now I will definitely wake up. Or will I? I hope my alarm goes off, it better go off because I have to get up and do things.


My friendships kind of go like this.

What-if.

I haven't heard from my friends in the group chat since a few hours ago. I hope everything is okay. I should be getting notifications but what-if somehow they got turned off. Okay no one has put anything in the group chat. I'll send something funny *insert random joke and emoji*. One person saw it, okay promising. Now two--now they all saw it. Why is no one responding? Do they hate me, oh my god they are mad. What did I do, I don't know what I did. What-if I did something. I'm sorry. I didn't do anything but i'm sorry. Sorry.

My entire life kind of goes like this.

What-if. What-if. What-if.

“Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far.”

― Jodi Picoult

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

41081
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

25630
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

951107
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

133988
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments