What Having Lenient Parents Has Done For Me

We all love our parents, and we all know deep down they all have the right intentions. They seem to have a plan for us- big hopes, huge dreams, and the highest of expectations for us. Everything they do, is for us. We appreciate them, we look up to them, and we love them so hard. But are they doing this whole parenting thing right? Is there a right way to parent? Hell, how would I know how to parent? I'm in college, I'm pursuing my dream career, and I am learning new things all the time- but in learning more and more about people, this crazy world, and new things about life all the time. I've developed a theory as to why I believe my parents did it right.

I could never say it was perfect all the time, there were definitely times I deserved the soap in my mouth after letting my first curse word fly off my tongue at ten years old. And I must say I did deserve getting my phone taken away all the times it was confiscated from me. Yes mom-I can admit it now that I didn't do well on my biology tests in seventh grade, and it was because my face was glued to the computer screen waiting for a reply on AIM instant messenger- you caught me. But as I've grown up, I can't help but give credit to my parents for the person I've become today. To the people who have raised me- here's to you.

The biggest lie, and misconception about parenting that I've ever heard, is that if you are a lenient parent, that you're a pushover. With growing up with lenient parents, doors have forever been opened for me. I've never known what it was like to not be able to tell my parents something- because openness has always been key in our home. Whether it be explaining how I did on on a test, an argument with a friend, or a flaw in my character, I never feared expressing myself to my parents. Actually, instead of reprimanding me for not being my best, they chose to better me, rather than to punish me for my shortcomings, and that has forever made the difference.

I never had to hide anything- I never worried about bringing home a test to be signed- I never needed to master my mom's signature to forge it on my test. I never knew what it was like to have to sneak around, wait to ask if I could go out with friends that night, at a "perfect time" for my parents; and I never knew what it was like to "not be talking" to them. My parents never ignored me, never made me feel like I couldn't come to them, and earned my uttermost respect from them by doing just that.

I respect them for their leniency. Leniency is equivalent to trust in the mind of a child who has lenient parents. Growing up with parents who are easy going, trusting, and confident in their children's behavior has enabled me to become the adult I am today. I've learned that because my parents have always let me make decisions for myself, that I am more capable than most to make the right decisions without a doubt, or a second thought as I am becoming more of my own person.

My parents have created an unbreakable bond. They made a tiny human, they nurtured their tiny human, they loved them, they spoiled their tiny human a little too much, trusted them, inspired them, raised her into a teenager who never thought twice about becoming rebellious or a secretive human. They made their tiny human who they've become today- someone with a strong integrity, someone who others can trust, someone who shows respect, works hard, and is grateful of all they get, are given, and work for.

I've figured it out on my own- something not many can say anymore. Parents these days have created children who look for guidance before each and every one of their decisions. Those are the helicopter parents. People who are ready to swoop in and save their babies as soon as there is a sign of distress in their lives. Kids have become so accustomed to parents who are willingly ready to take any situation their children are faced with, and make it their own problem just to ease the pain and stress from them.

My parents are happier and trust me because of who they've raised me to be. Just because my parents chose to let my leash a little loose, does not make them ineffective parents or people who are taken advantage of by their children. They've allowed my eyes to see what they've craved to, they've let me make my own mistakes, and to learn from them, all on my own. They've helped me become a better person because of my failures and my successes. But most importantly, they allowed me to struggle and get it wrong, because they knew that that would make my successes that much sweeter.