It is widely perceived that going through sorority recruitment can be an extremely emotional and exhausting process that can leave a detrimental effect on your self-esteem. Surrounding yourself with such beautiful and incredibly well-spoken women can undoubtedly be such a intimidating process. This is can be thought for both sides of recruitment, those looking to join a sisterhood and those who are already in one. This is what I expected to feel when going through the “other side” of recruitment for my first year. Knowing that many girls in my chapter and the rest of the Panhellenic community are all so perfect, put together, and polished, I felt that I could hardly match. Walking into my first day of pre-recruitment week I had no idea that going through this whole process once more as a member of my sorority would not only change my outlook on sisterhood as a whole, but my outlook on the kind of person I want to be.

Sororities get a bad reputation from movies and TV shows of just being a group of attractive, mean girls who have nothing intelligent to say; however, being a member of my chapter has taught me that not only is that stereotype so incredibly false, but that being a part of a sorority can be such an empowering experience for young women in all aspects of life. Recruitment has so many positive life lessons to teach every potential new member as well as existing sisters. Going through recruitment teaches you fundamental social skills that yes can help you make new friends and bring you out of your shy shell, but it also teaches you how to be a better friend. Going through recruitment I was taught not only how to get people to open up in easy conversation, but more importantly how to actually listen to what they are saying.

From recruitment I’ve learned how to be generous in conversation, and to not just nod along and wait for my turn to speak. Understanding the idea of generosity, prompts you to notably talk less and listen more, which is a trait that is so incredibly important in being a good and genuine friend. Before recruitment I had always considered my chapter as genuine, but going through the actual process I realized just how true this statement was. From the respect and dedication that each of our sisters give each other and our chapter, to our genuine concern for one another I realized that I still have so much to learn from each and every one of my sisters.

Recruitment taught me the significance of being able to distinguish the difference between empathy and sympathy. Being able to not only spot the difference in each of these is crucial in maintaining friendships and being authentic in your responses. Sympathy is simply feeling bad for someone and apologizing for their misfortune. Empathy is being able to comprehend your friend’s feelings and feel them too. Sympathy can be done by anyone, but empathy is the sincere supportive emotion that proves you are actively listening to what your friends are saying and not just nodding along.

Recruitment taught me that people join people, and I’m so glad to have joined the weird, crazy, sincere, and fearless group of women that I have. All of these women who are genuine in every one of our conversations and empathetic on my down days. These beautiful and driven women who have taught me that beauty isn’t how you can contour your face or what you wear, but that beauty is the kind of friend you are. Thank you to my wonderful sisters of Alpha Phi, who spent two sleep deprived weeks teaching me not how to recruit new members but how to make sure that others feel just as loved as you all make me feel.