I was sitting in my car in front of the counselor's office in tears. A million thoughts running through my head, had I really just dropped out of college? It was only a few weeks into my freshman year, how could I have made such a huge decision so fast? I hadn't even heard of a gap year before, no one really does ever hear about them. Why? Because they're frowned upon. It's the norm to go to college right out of high school, and if you decide to take that gap year off of school you'll "never go back". I learned more my first year of not going to school than I ever thought I would.
First I'll backtrack a bit, my whole life I knew I would be a Nurse. I got my CNA license my junior year of high school and realized, I didn't have a passion for it. Still, I enrolled into college, only because that's what everyone else was doing. I knew I had no idea what was going on, but I didn't think I had a choice. My family dropped me off and helped me move into my crappy dorm. The walls were cement and it was tiny. We said our goodbyes and I went about my way. I went to class every day, and slowly but surely I started freaking out. I kept telling myself it was normal, everyone freaks out their first few weeks at college. I had this gut-feeling though. I knew that I wasn't where I was supposed to be.
About two weeks after I started classes, I visited my counselor and told her I was dropping out. She didn't blink an eye, gave me papers to give the dorms and I moved out. After a breakdown or two, I sat in my little Cavalier packed full of everything I owned. I had $12 to put into my gas tank. What was I doing? I listened to my gut and it was the best decision I ever made.
I headed home. I was terrified of my parents, I knew they were disappointed. I didn't want a lecture, I wanted to curl up in bed and forget everything. I got my talk from them and it wasn't the end of the world. I'm still alive today aren't I? I love my parents but I needed my own space. I went back to work as a waitress, and a few short months later I moved into my first place. I learned so much being on my own. I started to learn more about who I really was. I spent time doing things for myself. I loved to paint and blare music, or sit down with a cup of coffee and read a good book. I met amazing new people and made wonderful memories I'll never forget. For once in my life, I put my happiness first.
Throughout high school I was really good at caring way too much of what my peers thought of me, and when I dropped out I was so worried about what people would think. The more I improved myself the closer I was to realizing that, It really didn't matter what anyone else thought. So what If I didn't go to college? I had taken time away and was lucky enough to discover my true passion.
It was one afternoon and my roommate was doing her makeup, I was fascinated to see all the products she was using. I knew nothing about makeup, I threw on foundation and mascara and called it a day. After seeing her do hers so differently I got curious. I stumbled upon a winged eyeliner tutorial on YouTube and that's where it all began. Fast forward a year and I'm now a makeup artist doing what I love. I'm blessed to have this drive to want to help women and men feel beautiful and it's the most rewarding job I ever could've asked for. What's even better is that I don't need to go to school, I taught myself and I continue to learn and grow every day.
They don't talk about gap years in high school and they should. It's a reasonable option for kids who truly need more time to figure things out. If I had any advice to anyone thinking about a gap year it would be to look at all of your options. If you realize college isn't right for you right now, stay home. In the meantime save your money, do research on anything that sparks your interest, try new things, and for the most part have fun. Don't stress yourself out too much, God has a plan for you. At the end of the day, it will work out. You will have people telling you it's a bad decision, stupid, and you'll never go back. I believe that when you finally find what you're passionate about, it will light a fire in you. You will do anything you can to do what you love. It's okay to take time for yourself, and it's okay to take a gap year.
