According to Dictionary.com, the definition of love is having a deep affection to one. For many years, we have been taught to love our siblings, parents, grandparents and so on. It becomes so natural to automatically tell a family member “I love you,” even if we barely know the person. So my question is if this is the case with our family and so forth, then why does it take so long to find the “one” that you are meant to love for the rest of your life?
Many people marry multiple people throughout their lives and others go through a series of heartbreaks from people that they thought were the “one." I have been a victim of this. If you have read my previous article about my ex, you can see that I truly believe that he was the one. After times that seemed great, it was revealed that it was not the case.
Why do some people have to be broken and hurt and others can find the right one on the first try? I think of a friend of mine while writing this; she met a guy in high school and quickly fell in love. They seemed so perfect for each other, years later they married and have a family together; it seemed so easy for her to find that “one." Why isn’t it like that for others?
Here’s my theory — everyone is wired differently. With that being said, some have to grow more and become molded in a sense to find their right person. Maybe some people, like my friend, need their person there in order to grow and others, like me, need to help others grow along the way. So they go through heartbreaks until the “stars align” and their person comes along. I’ve heard that love is a neuro-chemical con job; maybe it is, but it kind of goes with idea that we all have to grow and some more than others.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 has a section about what love is. It states that:
Love is patient.
We all have to grow to find our one. Sometimes it takes longer for one to find love than the other. It doesn’t come easy so in return you must be patient.
Love is kind.
We go through breakups because something doesn’t go quite right. And most of the time, it is because we weren't happy with the way we were treated. We felt disconnected; it didn't always feel warm or welcomed. Nothing was completely comfortable. We didn’t feel loved the same way we gave it. It wasn’t truly kind.
It does not envy.
Many times relationships that don’t work out involve envy and a sense of covet. If you have even seen the movie "Fireproof," you will understand this concept. One should not have to feel envy or have to worry about their relationship.
It is not proud, does not dishonor and it is not easily angered.
One should not gloat about whom they are with; yes you should be grateful. You should appreciate and cherish what you have. When you tend to try to show off your love, you lose the sense of it and degrade the person you are with. There should be anger; there should be no score of who did what right or wrong.
If your love is like this, you haven’t fully grown and found the “one." So to answer the question in my eyes, true love is a growing process. True love is a blinded honest thing that occurs in one's life and takes them by storm. And sometimes, like many things, it doesn't happen on the first try. No one's journey is the same, but, for most, in the end you find the one.
