So Father’s Day was this past Sunday, it made me think about my own situation. Recently, I’ve been feeling so angry when people blame my actions on “Daddy Issues” The fact that I don’t have a present Father in my life does not define who I am. I’m Keely. I’m a human being. The decisions and the choices I make for myself are because I want too. The definition of Family is involving. Family isn’t just a mom, dad, brother and a white picket fence of happiness. There are a lot of people in my life who I consider Family and aren’t blood related to me. I’m very thankful for them.

I don’t think people realize when they say, “She’s got Daddy Issues” it’s hurtful. It’s a huge label that goes across my forehand I’m stuck into this stereotype. I’m not some clingy, needy, slutty or seeking older men as father-figure substitutes. I’m far better than that. I got to see first hand how a real woman handles a work life and home life. She is my mom. It gave me assurance to know that I can be alone and still be okay. It’s possible to make it all happen on your own. She gave me the drive to want to have goals and dreams for myself. I wouldn’t be as independent as I am today without seeing my mom take control of her own life.

Dating is hard for independent women. A lot of men want women to be dependent on them. I can’t be that. I like to pay the bill, on dates too. It doesn’t always have to be the guy. I like to do nice things for them because I care not because I should “save my money” Why is it bad that I want a two-way street in a relationship? I need a man who is supportive and respects the fact that I always don’t need to be with him constantly. If Dating fails for me, I’m not afraid of being alone. It’s not a bad thing. I’m going to break another myth of “Daddy Issues” We do not pick men that have connect to our father. We want nice guys who are gonna stick around for the long-run.

What does it mean to have “Daddy Issues?” It’s to be a fuckin rad person who is able to handle her own business and make things happen by herself. She doesn’t need a man to depend on because she’s already ahead of the game. That’s something that took me twenty-years to finally come to the conclusion about.

My feelings fluctuates about my dad. Sometimes, I think about it a lot and other days, nothing at all. It’s a constant rollercoaster of emotions that I don’t think is ever going to change. The best part about not having a Father is that you’ll have a bigger heart to give people the chance to be in your life.

I do not need reasons to why I am the way that I am. Neither does anyone else, you are fine the way you are.