Sorry that I'm not white, skinny and tall. Sorry that I sometimes have pimples and dry skin. Sorry that I don't have long luscious hair and dainty finger nails. Sorry that I have a long torso and thick legs. Sorry that I let my leg hair and eyebrows become long overdue. Sorry that I'm into cheap clothing and minimal make up.

Disclaimer: These are not actual apologies.

Body positivity is a huge deal among the media and among our inner circles.

Advertisements tell us to "Lose weight, look better!" followed by a ten-step diet and workout plan that the Victoria's Secret models follow. Promotions in magazines basically tell us “Use this product and your face will be less ugly!” or “Change your look with these 87 tips because the current one sucks!” And then the person in the ad is some flawless demi-god, or probably Beyoncé. We're pressured into believing this standard of beauty that not all of us are capable of achieving. And if we aren't ideal, we are shamed. If we are ideal, we are still shamed. For being “too perfect”. We can't win.

I have been told that, regarding body type I am what people consider a standard. In the eyes of certain people, I am considered conventional, acceptable, solely because I’m not overweight. This is odd logic to me because while people are being nice, they are unknowingly being ignorant. Plus, I never come around to believing them whether they are genuine or not. I don't respond well to being applauded for my body when in reality, I've done limited activity to appear the way I do. Like many, I have struggled and still struggle to love my body.

I starved myself as a young teen--strived to be skin and bones because I thought that was the only way people would love me and I would be satisfied with myself. Luckily, that goal was unsuccessful because I was sick and felt terrible and weak. I dyed and chopped my hair as often as my feelings about myself and life changed (very often). The moment I would finally like my appearance, I quickly decided it needed to change. I never questioned if it was my outlook that needed to change. Now, I get offended when I am told I'm too skinny, and I’m totally okay with my natural hair because my idea of self-love has grown into a healthier, appreciative outlook on myself. I try to stay active and eat remotely healthy. Other than that, my body is what it was made out to be and I can't change that.

I've never been overweight or underweight so I don’t know what it feels like to be bigger or smaller than I usually am. But I've been told to eat more and that I look "anorexic" because my ribs are prominent and my skin is thin. I've been told to eat less because my bottom portion is too big. All the while my body hadn't changed. I hate the idea that people with a standardized figure and color are privileged and are put on this metaphorical pedestal. And yet, at one point or another, people are ridiculed for those same looks that were once acceptable.

I wear high-waisted pants to hide my becoming muffin top, loose long sleeves to protect my flapping, untoned "wings" and wear my hair down to shield my face from wandering eyes. There's nothing confidential here. You couldn't trust a magician with such revealing secrets. We hide our insecurities. We wish we didn't have them and we can't help but compare ourselves to others. But it seems impossible because there's always going to be someone better. Being better only goes so far as an opinion. The go-to attitudes are like, "at least I'm prettier than them" or "why am I not as pretty as them?"

We spend more time comparing ourselves to others than focusing on what we need and want for ourselves.

Accepting and loving your body, flaws and all, is what confidence is all about. This is what I’m working on. It's not about how many "likes" and views you get. That's not a valid form of affirmation. It’s not all about how people think of you. It’s not a competition and no one is a judge. No one should have so much power over your mind to convince you that you are worth less than what you are. You are always more. Your body is an actual living temple that harbors that confident soul and sustains life. Now that’s powerful.

As soon as people see that you love and accept yourself, they will hopefully see the meaning of confidence too and find beauty in that.

If I was able to choose my body type, my skin color, my entire physical appearance, I'd still choose mine. I love my weird protruding ribs, my thinning eyebrows that I like to fill in, my thick thighs and small waist that make finding jeans a pain, my stretch marks that prove me a child-bearer, my yellowish, spotty skin tone gifted from my ancestors.

Friends, embrace those insecurities!