Have you ever have one of those moments when you're mad or upset with somebody's actions or words, and by the end of it you find that the person you have issues with has convinced you that you are entirely at fault? Has this ever happened consistently to you with the same individual? That's considered emotional abuse.
We've all heard about physical abuse and domestic violence. We see it in movies and shows and books and cringe when one significant other hits another. I remember how disturbed I was when I witnessed it in "Sons of Anarchy." But there is a more subtle kind of abuse out there, and it can happen between friends, romantic partners, family members, teachers and students, employers and employees, exes, fiancées, or peers. The abuser or the victim can be male, female, or anything in between, and it is not strictly limited to male abusers and female victims. Emotional abuse has led people to serious mental issues, caused them social and economic grief, and is one of the leading causes of suicide. So, here are some ways to spot emotional abuse.
1. Making you feel cornered
This can happen literally as in blocking exits to swagger and display an act of intimidation. Or, in a metaphorical sense, somebody could make you feel trapped and isolated in your life. They can manipulate you to feel as they are the owner and sole occupant of your life. That is emotional abuse.
2. Making themselves out to be the victim
If somebody makes you feel like you do nothing but evil to them, like they bear the brunt of you, or that you're nothing but a burden to them or anyone, that's emotional abuse. A healthy relationship of any kind should be based on the acknowledgement that neither party is perfect, but both parties should respect and appreciate each other's good, too. And it is important for everybody to admit when they screw up.
3. Constant criticism
We all need occasional constructive criticism, it keeps us level headed and realistic about ourselves. But when somebody seeks out ways that they can tear down your self-esteem for what may or may not seem like a legitimate reason, that's emotional abuse.
4. Stalking
When somebody won't leave you alone, and makes a habit of becoming friends with all of your friends just to keep tabs on you, that is emotional abuse. They don't have to make any threats or allusions to violence. They may claim that they care about your friends, or even that they are better friends to the people you care about than you are. Perpetual oversight or not allowing somebody to make connections without their involvement or permission is another sign of emotional abuse.
5. Inserting themselves into others' drama
When somebody feeds off of any minor spat you have with another individual, and often seems to exacerbate it by inserting their own problems into the mess, or they make it about them, or turn it into global issue, that is emotional abuse.
As you can see above, there are serious consequences to emotional abuse, and it should not be taken lightly or seen as "dramatic" or "whiny."
If you think you or a loved one is suffering from emotional abuse, please contact a psychologist and possibly police or other authorities, or if you're uncomfortable reporting your own emotionally abusive relationship, tell a trusted friend or family member and allow them to help you. Note that there are a plethora of other sources you can contact if you are struggling, and they are only a Google or Bing search away.
